Episode 205. Opening Energetic Doors: A Guided Meditation Gift for New Beginnings
Welcome back to The Nicole Joy Show…
In this deeply personal episode, I’m opening up about some significant changes in my life and how they’ve reshaped my work and identity. After the unexpected loss of my mother in April, I’ve been on a profound journey of grief and transformation, and I want to begin to share these experiences with you.
Here’s what you’ll find in this episode:
Navigating Grief & Loss: I introduce the impact of losing my mother and the challenges of guiding my children through their own grief, while managing my father’s health issues. It’s been a very full time, but it’s also led to some powerful reflections.
Shifting Identities and Professional Focus: I’ve come to realize that my old identity as a content creator no longer fits. Instead, I’m embracing a new approach that aligns more with my authentic self.
Embracing Authenticity: This episode dives into how I’m focusing on sharing my genuine self and experiences, rather than sticking to a traditional content creation model.
Guided Meditation: I’m also sharing a gift with you - a special guided meditation to help you open your own energetic doors and explore what lies beyond them.
How to Connect:
Social Media: www.instagram.com/nichole_joy__
Website: www.nicholejoy.com
Upcoming Book: Stay tuned for more details about my book, which will delve into my experiences with my mother and our healing journey.
Your Feedback: I’d love to hear about your experience with the meditation and any insights you had. Your feedback means a lot to me, truly.
Thank you for tuning in. I’m grateful to have you on this journey with me, and I hope this episode brings you comfort and inspiration.
Xoxo,
Nichole Joy
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Transcript:
Hi, welcome to the Nicole joy show. I'm your host. I'm an author. I'm a digital course creator. I'm an energy healing practitioner. I'm a podcaster. I'm a mother to three. I'm a wife. I'm a sister. I'm a daughter. I have many identities. And my podcast has been on a break. If you've been hanging out with me for any amount of time, you may know that I lost my mom in early April.
So my last podcast episode went out late March when she was in the hospital, and then she passed away a few days later.
It was pretty sudden, and so Shortly after she passed, I realized why I couldn't plan my year out. I've been in business and online business since 2018. And every year, as the new year approaches, I set some plans in place for the year. I set goals, I decide what I want to share, what I want to help people with for that year.
And this year, something felt different this year, November, December, January, I had a lot of other stuff going on with my dad and his health, and I couldn't push myself to plan my year. And I didn't want to push myself anymore because that's something that I have been doing for most of my life is pushing through things, pushing myself to do life the way that many other people do life.
And I realized actually several years ago now that that just doesn't work for me anymore and I have to figure out what does work for me. So this year was the first year that I embraced. And surrendered to not planning my year, which felt incredibly uncomfortable because I have a lot of gifts. I mean, I'm patting myself on the back here.
I have a lot of things that I love sharing with my community, with you, with my clients, with my people, I have a lot of things that I think are really helpful and my people tell me are really helpful
and I just could not get myself behind a plan and I did not know why. I thought it was the one thing, right? I thought it was primarily my dad, but I thought, well, I could, I could still work around that. And what I could not have seen coming was in the middle of March, my mom going into the hospital and passing two weeks later.
There's no way that I could have seen that coming.
It's still fresh. It's still only been four and a half months. I have a lot to say about it and I want to share so much with you. And for four and a half months, you know, for me, somebody who shares so much of my, my experience in a way that I think is helpful to others. It's been really hard for me not to share, but having said that, I feel like I'm not quite ready for all of it yet, to share all of it yet, and I'm putting it into a book, if you haven't already heard me reference it.
Here and there, I've been into my Instagram stories, sharing a couple of, of things, not very often, I'd say maybe once a week I pop in and share. I have so much to say, and it feels like some of the old ways that we share content just wouldn't do our experience justice. And I want to create something really beautiful to honor our experience, my mom and mine.
And that's part of why I haven't been sharing, is there's just so much that doesn't fit into an Instagram caption, that doesn't fit into an IG story, that quite frankly doesn't even fit into a podcast. Shortly after she passed, I just wrote, my kids were back in school from spring break and I had a little bit of time between them going back to school and when they were out for summer.
And during that time, I poured words into Google docs. I mean, it just flowed out of me and then they came home for the summer and we've had the last three months to grieve together and do our best to navigate. The season of our lives. And so I haven't completed my book yet, but now it's the fall. Well, almost, and they're back to school.
They've been back for two and a half days. And I've been thinking about my identities and how to get back to work and how much I miss my work and how much I love what I do and how I miss my people. And I've just, my energetic capacity has been so full.
Navigating so much, you know, , and if you don't know, then let me tell you , navigating grief. ,
The loss of a parent is 1 thing. And then guiding 3 young children through it in their own ways. It's a whole other thing. There's, there's just a lot, it's very full. And so I did not have the capacity to jump right back into work the way that I was doing work before, as much as I love my work. Yesterday, this kid's second day at school, I had a few minutes to myself in the morning and I sat down and I wrote some stuff about the identities that I currently have and how I, this is not my first rodeo with loss.
You know, I've lost my brother. Eight years ago in a motorcycle accident, now I've lost my mother
and I can tell you going through these major life changes, these catalyst moments, one of the things that comes from this for me anyway, is. increasing clarity of what I do want in my life and what I don't want in my life. And I referenced this once before, but I'm going to bring it up again. When I read,
matthew McConaughey's book, Green Lights. In the beginning, he says that to get to know ourselves, , sometimes it's best to get clear about who we're not. , Every time I have these big life experiences, good, bad, however you want to label them, they are life experiences, catalyst moments, births, deaths.
I become more and more clear of what I don't want to do and who I don't want to be. More importantly, what identities I don't want to carry. And one of the things I thought about yesterday was I don't want to be a content creator. I am not a content creator. I enjoy creating content. Sometimes if there's something that I feel is in me that would be really fun to share, really helpful for somebody, and I share it in different formats, content, it's either a podcast or an Instagram post, or ultimately my book that I'm writing about my experience with my mother and her passing and our relationship.
However, that's not an identity that I want to have. , this summer we took a couple of trips with our kids and I saw content creators and I see a lot of people, you know, their content creators, they are constantly recording and documenting their lives to share and putting a lot of energy into creating content, YouTube videos, Instagram video, you know, whatever format.
And that's great for them. I realized though, that that's not for me. And again, that doesn't mean I'm not going to create some content. I create content because that's part of the way I can share my magic, my medicine with the people who need it. But to be clear, I don't consider myself a content creator anymore.
I don't even know that I ever did. I don't work for Instagram. I don't work for YouTube. I don't even work for the podcast. , I struggle with even calling this work. This is my vocational prowess. And that phrase was not my original for the record. That was something that was shared with me a few months ago.
And I really liked it. So I'm borrowing it, but in my words, you know, this, again, this is my medicine. This is my magic. And I do believe that we all have our own flavor. We all have our own medicine and we're all here to kind of share that with each other with the purpose and the goal of expanding consciousness.
And so I say all that to say, as I'm stepping back into my office. With the kids back to school, I'm a different person now. I'm different after having lost my mother and the experience we went through that was intense. And I'll share more about it in the future when I, when I feel ready,
but I feel like a different person. What that's going to look like for you is you just may get a much more raw version of me. I decided not to record on video today because I'm not ready for that right now. And that's okay because I'm not a content creator. Sometimes I like making videos, sometimes I don't.
And today what needed to come through felt very raw. And it needed to be audio and I may or may not create pieces of content to show on social media, that there's a new episode out if I feel like it's fun and helpful, then perhaps I will, but you're going to be getting a little bit different version of me.
And when I stepped into my office, stepping back into work, one of the things that I had to do logistically was open the doors. Right. And I talked about this last fall when the kids went back to school about opening the energetic doors of my business coming back from a break. Summer break, winter break, a sabbatical for whatever reason.
My, my summer break started early this year. Last summer, I took the summer off of the podcast for the first time since it began in 2019 and this year, that was my plan. And then my sabbatical started early when my mom died. I've been struggling with how to reopen these energetic doors and you have to do certain things, right?
You open the doors, you might open the blinds, you turn on the computer. One of the things I had to do was log back into zoom and I had paused some of my accounts, including zoom, because I didn't know how long I would need. And so to unpause it, I had to select reactivate just now, right before I hit record, I reactivated my zoom.
It asks you, what do you want to do? I said, reactivate. I'm sharing this because I have a gift for you because it would feel really good. And from my heart to share it with you, one of the practices that I was invited to do last week, and I did it a couple of days ago when the kids went back to school because I had some space.
And so if you have space. And a little bit of, quiet that you can be present. I invite you as well to open your energetic doors, whatever that means for you open the doors. We don't always know what's on the other side. We don't always understand our human brain doesn't always conceptualize why we do certain things that we do.
And this was one of those things that I didn't ask questions and I didn't let my brain get involved because I've learned that while brains are lovely and really helpful and logic is. It's great in some ways, stuff like this. I don't always trust my brain. I trust who invited me and I trust myself.
And I knew that I was guided to open my energetic doors, be it to my business, be it to the next level version of me, because again, I am a different person now based on the experiences that I had with my mother while she was dying and after she passed.
This next piece, you can come back to when you have quiet space and you don't have to go full into meditation. And by, by all means, if you're driving, if you're operating any kind of machinery or heavy equipment, or you're with children, or you're in a space that you can't be totally present, . You can just listen and just enjoy this, enjoy this moment. But if you want to really close your eyes, tune in and have an experience, come back to this later. I'm going to take you on a little journey to open your doors. trusting yourself and trusting whatever's on the other side for you, even if you don't know why you're doing it, so without further ado, if you are in a situation and a position that you're able to get comfortable and close your eyes and relax, I invite you to do that now.
And you can just sit comfortably. You can lay down if you prefer to lay down.
Relax your face, relax your arms, relax your shoulders,
become aware of your breath.
If your mind is swirling of thoughts, your to do list, the back to school activities, the schedules, the logistics, the homeworks, and all the things, let's take a satin sheet. This is something I've been doing that I really enjoy. And I take a satin sheet and I just wrap my thoughts up with a soft satin sheet to soften them and hold them.
And I'll come back to them later.
Just focus on your breath.
We're going to start with a brief. Energy healing transmission before we open our doors.
So you may become aware of a gold light
up above the top of your head, and I'm going to bring it all the way down over the course and length of your body, starting at the top of your head, going down over the length of your face,
over your neck
and your upper back, your collarbone area, over your chest and your shoulders, just doing a kind of gentle cleansing, an energy cleansing to prepare your system. And just help to soothe and settle and calm. And we're going to bring the golden light further down into your abdomen space, down the length of your arms and your mid lower back, down into your pelvic region, your hips,
and then over the top of your thighs and down the back of your thighs, all the way down across your knees, behind your kneecaps and into the bottom half, the lower area of your legs, through your feet and into the earth.
Take a breath. We're going to call up your doors, your energetic doors,
tune into your doors that are ready for opening and pay attention to what they look like.
If you can see them, what do they look like? What do they feel like? What's the vibe? What's your environment?
How do you feel approaching these doors?
I'm wrapping you in energy healing, specifically the expansion principle energy healing modality that I'm a practitioner for so that you feel comforted and nourished and held as you approach your doors.
Is it one door? Is it two? You're going to look down at your hands and put your hands out onto the door handles and when you're ready, you're going to open those doors
and take a step forward through the threshold, across
and into the other side.
What's on the other side of the doors? Do you notice anything? Are you aware of anything? If you are, take note.
You can ask questions here if you like
and observe. The environment that you're in
and I'll wrap you up in another energy healing hug to support you and wherever those doors are going to take you next,
take a breath. And when you're ready, you can feel free to open your eyes. My only ask of you is that you give me some feedback. What did this mean for you? What did you observe? If anything, I know my experience from a couple of days ago. , I didn't want to include it in the meditation because I didn't want to influence anything of yours.
, but I had a pretty lovely experience. And so I would absolutely love to hear your takeaways. It means a lot to me, and I find these conversations really enjoyable. My plan, even though I was struggling with planning this year, my plan is To share what's on my heart, whenever, as often as it needs to come through.
I hope you stay tuned, and check in with me on social media.
And keep your eyes out for the book when it's ready to come.