Episode 204. Trigger Warning: How to Navigate Triggers on the Internet
In this episode, I guide you through the intricate subject of triggers. But first, a caveat: be sure to seek professional support as needed when triggered. Trust yourself here.
I delve into encountering conflicting beliefs on social media and share my personal approach to handling such situations. I’ll explain the concept of multiple truths and the futility of engaging in online arguments. Reflecting on my journey, I discuss growth, compassion, and discernment in navigating relationships with individuals of differing beliefs, both personally and professionally. Here’s where it gets sticky: I encourage you to take a look at yourself when triggered, explore your underlying beliefs and take responsibility for your reactions. Overall, I cover personal responsibility, boundary-setting, and maintaining compassion, even if it means disengaging from certain relationships for the sake of mental well-being.
Intro
Setting the stage for discussing triggers
Emphasizing the importance of seeking professional help for severe triggers
Acknowledging Differing Beliefs
Discussing encounters with conflicting beliefs on social media
Introduction to my personal approach
The Concept of Multiple Truths
Exploring the idea that multiple truths can coexist
Reflecting on personal experiences and beliefs
Avoiding Online Arguments
Stressing the futility of engaging in arguments on the internet
Encouraging mindful response over reaction
Personal Growth and Compassion
Reflecting on personal growth journey
Emphasizing compassion and meeting others where they are
Navigating Relationships
Discussing approaches to relationships with differing beliefs
Personal anecdotes about family and business relationships
Introspection and Responsibility
Exploring the importance of introspection when triggered
Taking responsibility for reactions and beliefs
Evaluating Energy Investment
Advising listeners to evaluate the worthiness of engaging in triggering situations
Discussing personal energy management and boundary-setting
Societal Trends and Conversations
Lamenting the societal trend of avoiding conversations with opposing viewpoints
Advocating for open dialogue and understanding
Personal Responsibility and Compassion
Emphasizing personal responsibility and boundary-setting
Maintaining compassion even while disengaging from triggering situations
Wrap up
Encouraging you to reflect on your own approaches to triggers
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Transcript:
And there are also times through the entrepreneurial lens, where I have decided to end certain relationships, where I have decided to disassociate myself with an individual later, because in the beginning, I don't always know their values. ?
I didn't always have this level of discernment. .
People that may have been in my business sphere in 2017 or 2018, . I may not be having an ongoing, continuing business relationship with, because I started to really understand their values and because they pretty. Loudly did not align with my values. It was not a match
mhm.
Before you jump into this episode, pause for these announcements. There are lots of different ways that I can help you and support you as you build your business. As you go along your motherhood journey or through your own personal healing, spiritual journey, all of the ways I can help you are linked in the show notes, but I'll also explain it to you very briefly, a high level overview.
Of what that looks like. Number one, there's full private one on one support packages. So that's me and you privately. It's a combination of messenger support and private calls, and it's all customized to what your needs are right now. The second way that I can help is done with you packages. So this is something that tends to be more specific.
You have a specific project in mind, be it. Creating and launching a digital course or creating and launching your podcast, email marketing, et cetera. This is something that we set aside time that I work with you virtually or in person. If you happen to be local to me and I hold your hand and walk you through launching your next project together.
The third category falls into the DIY style. So this is more, I do it myself, you do it yourself. So this is the self paced on demand version. It tends to be a lower price point because you go through the video modules of various courses that I have. There's a full course menu linked in the show notes and you walk through the modules yourself and it shows you tutorials, my perspective, teachings on a wide range of topics in the online business space with the videos.
A spiritual flavor. And if you'd like something specific that you don't see, feel free to reach out to me, send me an email, send me a DM on Instagram and let's talk .
Okay. We're going to talk about triggers. And before we talk about triggers, I want to put a caveat that if you are being triggered by something that you think you need medical attention, you think you need to see a therapist. This is not the episode to walk you through that. I'm not a therapist. I'm not your doctor.
I'm not going to be able to provide you with medical attention and I'm not a therapist. And I think that you already know that, but just in case it needs to be said, there you go. I also think that that's really valid that there are actually instances where people are triggered in such a way that they do need a higher level of support.
, perhaps a doctor or medical attention. That's absolutely valid. And I see you. So now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'm talking more about . When you open social media and you see somebody post something, you see somebody say something that doesn't align with your beliefs.
And this happens to me too.
I don't think that there's any person on the planet who is going to believe every single thing exactly the way that you do.
So how do you navigate this? How do you navigate people with different beliefs sometimes that trigger you based on your own belief system, based on your own life experiences, how do you balance that with wanting to build community, with wanting to stay in community and have connections with people
I'm not going to tell you how to process triggers, but I will tell you how I do it. I asked on my IG stories if. Anybody who saw the story would like me to do an episode on how I process triggers, and it was a hundred percent yes. So even though it makes me a little bit uncomfortable, here's my process.
I like you sometimes open social media and I see something that doesn't necessarily align with one of my beliefs.
One of the things that I look at is. In any given statement, in any given belief by another individual is what is the truth? And it's really tricky for us as human beings to remember that there can be multiple truths at the same time. I have a truth. You have a truth. Some other individual has a completely different truth and all of these things are true for us.
And I think partly if you want to take it into a deeper metaphysical conversation, which I am here for, I think sometimes it's partly because we're living different timelines.
And so something that may have been very true to another individual in this version of their soul's experience, where you're meeting them Right now, you had a very different experience, perhaps in a different version. I know that that's a little bit out there, but bear with me.
And so when it comes to the question of truths, if another individual has a different truth than me, , is it beneficial for me to fight and argue with them on the internet? Is it beneficial for me to leave a nasty comment or to reply to their story and have an argument , is that going to help humanity?
Is that going to help raise humanity's consciousness? And to me, what it always comes back to is no
So I ask myself. Can I allow other people to have their own truths?
And when it comes to the thing of like arguing on the internet over triggers, can I allow other individuals to be at the consciousness level where they're at and not engage with an argument because I'm not available for it, right? And I have worked my butt off to get to this point, it's not something that was always in me, right?
If you knew me from 10 years ago to me now, I'm a different person. I'm a different woman at 40 years old than I was at 30 than I was at 20. And one of the things that I'm really proud of having worked so hard on is having compassion. For individuals and meeting them where they're at.
Now, this doesn't mean that I have to engage and be best friends with and invite people into my home who are at a different place on their spiritual journey, who are at a different place in their consciousness. It doesn't mean that I have to, be close to everyone and let them in, but I can meet them where they are at.
I can allow them to be themselves. Without trying to convince them that my way is correct, without trying to convince them why arguing on the internet is actually not beneficial,
or without trying to convince them that it's okay for other people to have other, and sometimes different, beliefs.
, ? How do I navigate relationships with individuals who think differently than me, who are at a different place, in their consciousness?, For me, it's a case by case basis, right?
So there are people, , close to me, family members who may have different beliefs about who absolutely have different beliefs about different things, right? Because again, , there's nobody who has all of the same beliefs as you. And so if they are somebody who I love and who I still want to have close to me, I will continue the relationship, right?
Like my dad and I don't believe everything the same, of course. And we're also like very good, very good friends. He's like my best friend and he doesn't believe everything that I believe. And that's okay. We meet each other where we're at and we love each other.
And then when it comes to business. There are some individuals who I may choose not to buy from, who I may choose not to listen to their podcast, who I may choose not to learn with, who I may not collaborate with , even though if you listen to my other episodes about when it's important to keep your blinders on, even though I'm moving through the world
Staying in my own lane in such a way that I'm creating my own lane and creating my own path. Sometimes I miss things, right? Because it's not ignorance. It's just, I'm not out here reading every single comment of every single person's stuff. But if it comes into my field, if I become aware of certain things, I get to decide how I want to move on with that relationship in a way that honors my value system .
This doesn't mean that I'm going to be arguing with that individual and taking off my hoops if I see them in public, like that's not the case. I can be cordial and kind and have compassion for somebody who might be different than me.
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And there are also times where in a business through the entrepreneurial lens, where I have decided to end certain relationships, where I have decided to disassociate myself with an individual later, because in the beginning, I don't always know their values. ?
I didn't always have this level of discernment. So go back to late 2017 when I was first opening my business, I didn't have the level of discernment that I do now. it's another thing that I've been really working hard on and cultivating my, the way. You know, what is my unique way of discerning information out in the world?
People that may have been in my business sphere in 2017 or 2018, . I may not be having an ongoing, continuing business relationship with, because I started to really understand their values and because they pretty. Loudly did not align with my values. It was not a match and it didn't mean having an argument about your value is triggering my value system or your belief is triggering my value system.
It was more of what am I available for and being discerning of who I allow in to my field and who I allow into the container of my business.
And then this is probably the most important thing that I hope you take away from this conversation is what is the point of a trigger? Oftentimes through the context of which we are talking about triggers, right? When somebody says something or when somebody is acting in such a way that pokes at something in me, the most important thing for me that I do when I'm processing a trigger is looking at what is that shining the light on in me.
So for example, if there's this trigger happening for me, so let's say it's somebody's post on social media and it's triggering. We can look at it like they have a flashlight and it's shining a light on something. . So often times this type of trigger is something that is guiding you or guiding me to what I need to look closer at.
What is it in me that this trigger is poking a thing that maybe I've been putting off a thing that maybe I've been avoiding thinking about or avoiding processing or avoiding doing all together?
What is it showing me about underlying beliefs that I may be holding about myself that aren't really helping anymore? Let's use a business example. So let's say you know somebody online or maybe in your local community who's in a similar industry as you maybe does some kind of similar overlapping work as you, and they just did this big, cool thing. They launched a podcast or they opened a center , or they wrote a book or , , some huge milestone, right?
Some huge celebratory experience in their business. And it pokes at you and it triggers you and you feel like, eh,
what is that shining the light on in you? Because it has nothing to do with that other individual who's out here just living their life, doing their thing. But what is it pointing at in you? Is there something in you that makes you think that you can't launch a podcast or that you can't open a brick and mortar or that you can't write a book?
What are the beliefs that you're telling yourself? What are the stories , that you're holding about what you are capable of and about your timeline and about what is your highest possibility, because I can almost guarantee you that when you start to look at triggers through this lens and point that light back on yourself and look at, it's actually all about me,
it will change your life. It will change your business.
? Maybe somebody in. The metaphysical spiritual space has stronger, , intuitive gifts than you. Are you looking at them and being triggered by that? Because, well, they've only been in the industry or they've only been doing this for a short amount of time.
I've been doing this for this amount of time and I'm not, dah, dah, dah, dah. What is that shining the light on? Is that shining the light on that? Oh, well, if I'm being honest with myself, so this would be a process that I go through if I'm being honest with myself and I'm looking at what this is poking, , perhaps it's poking on.
Maybe I'm spending a little bit too much time scrolling social media. What could I do if I wanted to take radical responsibility for my life? What could I do instead? What could I do to change the story and the experience that I'm having? Because we are co creators in our life. God, us, the universe, like we are co creating this experience.
And so if I'm continuing to tell myself that old story of like, this thing isn't possible for me, but it's possible for her because she has blah, blah, blah, blah, it's creating this cycle.
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Another thing I do when I see something on the internet that kind of pokes at me is I will ask,
is it worth me giving energy to this thing? And this is something that I've had to really work on, particularly because I'm a projector and I work with one of my children who's a projector on this. Not everything out in the world is a efficient and correct use of our energy. I tend to not have a whole lot of energy.
And so if I have these leaks, which are me responding to these various triggers and allowing them to like start fires in me, it's a real inefficient use of my energy. And this doesn't just apply to projectors. Like this applies to everybody. Am I feeding into and contributing to this low vibe frequency of an argument around a topic?
I was talking to somebody else in my life, like a week ago about how a lot of people now can not have a conversation with another individual that they're that doesn't perfectly align and match their belief system. And that is problematic.
I have a lot of friends and people who I care about who have very different beliefs than me and I love them.
The point of life, I don't believe that one of the points of life is to try to convince everybody to believe what I believe. I'm responsible for me. I'm responsible for my own belief systems. I'm responsible for how I move through the world and what I allow into my field.
Sometimes that means disappointing people because I may not adhere to what they want me to believe. Sometimes that means not continuing with certain relationships.
Because there's a value issue
and sometimes for your own sanity, it means unfriending, unfollowing
and having compassion from afar.
Okay. I hope this episode wasn't too triggering. It obviously was not a comprehensive conversation, but I did my best to get through the points that I think are the most important.
And kept my courage going strong long enough to get through what feels like the tip of the iceberg of this conversation. Have a good week.
Okay. So what'd you think since words of affirmation are my love language? No, I'm just kidding. I don't really do love languages because I, I like all of them, but the truth is that recognition and feeling seen and heard lights me all the way up. I'm a projector. If you don't know about human design, now, you know, a little something, 20 percent of the population are projectors and we light all the way up when we feel seen, recognized, heard.
And so by you giving me feedback, whether that's a rating or review, a subscribe, sending me a note, letting me know if this episode resonated, it actually lights me up and it gives me more energy and juice to keep going and bring you more. Plus I'm forever grateful to hear your feedback for how my work is helping you.
So, you know, do all the things subscribe, rate, review, and I can't wait to hear from you.