Hi the morning, my kids might be interrupting us throughout this episode. So if you hear random screams kicks, yells interruptions, just go with it. It's still summer I'm in Florida. School started yesterday, but my kid's school doesn't go back for a couple more weeks. So, um, but messages still need to get out. I have things I need to share with you. Important things. I want to explain things that are on my mind and my guess is that you really don't mind that the kids are in the background. So we're gonna just keep it moving. Okay. This week I have been thinking about how the traditional role of motherhood was sold to me. You know, the messages that I got and literally what I was asked during an annual review in the corporate world one time. So many of you got very similar conditioning that I did I'm sure. Um, but at that specific interview and not, sorry, not an interview in annual review, I was working in the corporate world. I had an annual review with two men, um, that were my bosses at the time. And you were talking salary negotiations and what I've done for the year and what my plans are for the next year and that kind of thing. And he literally said, so are you going to be a wife and a mother? Or are you going to be okay?

Yeah, appropriately. Um, and it really echoed what I had been, the messages I had been receiving throughout my life that traditional motherhood was that women are responsible for marrying the children and maintaining the household. Maybe not as ancient of a picture as like the forties, but we still got the message that when schools closed and we, we really still get this message that when school's closed or when care providers have to take time off, because that's just what they have to do. You know, especially in the last year and a half, the schools closing and care providers needing to take time off, it's totally normal thing. The responsibility for the kids defaults to women. And I have seen this, I know you've seen this. I know that, you know, they're starting to release information about, uh, the impact that the pandemic, the last 17, 18 months has had on women and especially on mothers. And the thing about it is it keeps us small. Now I could deep dive into smashing that patriarchal BS, but for the sake of staying focused, because, you know, I sometimes riff and wander. Let's just compare that story for a minute to the traditional role of birth professionals.


And also before we dive into that, let's acknowledge that there's a lot of chatter about our role in terms of your scope, okay. In your practice, what you should and shouldn't be doing with clients and such and FYI. That's also not the focus of this specific conversation. For many of us, the message we're getting is that, or that we've had, we have had over however many years, you've been in business for yourself as a birth professional. The message has been that the traditional role of a doula or a childbirth educator or any other title that falls under the category of a birth professional is the right way. Or the only way to do that. My belief is that the traditional way, it's just one of the ways to do this work a beautiful way and an intimate way to do this work. And just like the traditional role of motherhood is just one way to do it. There are more than one ways to do it. I'm hoping that parts of the traditional ways will remain as things around us change, but just like the world evolving. So does the way that we do our work


And holding Onto that old belief system, that traditional business model is the only way to do it. It's keeping the collective birth industry and you small. I'm going to repeat that for a second. When you hold onto that old belief system, that the traditional way of being a doula or fill in the blank for whatever bread professional you are, it's keeping the collective birth industry and really the collective birthing community and U small it's limiting our ability to truly help new families all over the world.


Families That don't have access to support families. That what, for whatever reason, you know, there's a lot of reasons right now that I'm sure you can list too, that the traditional model just doesn't for them, it's limiting our ability to help Them Limiting your business. It's limiting you evolving as a human. One of my spiritual mentors says that our natural state is expansion. And that really resonates with me. A lot of the work that I've been doing on myself and with my clients really over the last several years, you could call it self personal development work, or, you know, self-help like the section in Barnes and Nobles that I would gravitate to is called self-help. I actually don't really like that title. I don't think it's, it just doesn't resonate with me, but expansion that feels good in my body. And that's what I've been doing. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's heavy and there are a lot of tears and emotions, but the expansion is so good. And so I have been doing it. My clients we've been doing it. Um, but if you're holding onto the old, it makes it very hard to be in that natural state of expansion.

So my question is why are we fighting expansion for the sake of doing things the right way or the ways that the local birth community tell us is how we're supposed to do it? There's no right way to parent. There's no right way to be a birth professional. Your role might not fall into the traditional bucket as a birth professional. Now, if the traditional role feels amazing to you do that, like I'm not saying don't do the thing that feels right to you. If parts of the traditional roles feel good, keep those, I often tell my clients when I'm doing workshops, we do monthly live stream Q and A's. And it's kind of like a, like a custom workshop every month. And I share, they ask questions about business, whatever they're working on in their online business or in person, and how to use the internet to leverage their business, all of that kind of stuff.


And beyond how to use energy work, to go deeper in their business, how to create email lists on and on and on and on and on. So there's loads of pressures. We go deep on whatever, and I don't hold back. When we're at our monthly private workshops for members only I pull the curtain back and I share whatever it is that people need to know. And I often preface conversations with look, there is not my way is not set in stone. It's not written in stone. I should say. It's not the only way to do things. Take what feels good and leave the rest. And I share the way I do things. I share the things that have worked for me, the things that haven't worked for me that might work for them, that why they didn't maybe work for me. Um, I share things I've seen other people doing that I think are brilliant.


That work really well for their particular, maybe human design type or spirit leader design type. Uh, we go, we talk about that because it's the truth example. Many of you probably assumed that I batch my content. I shared this on the podcast, not too long ago, that batch in content meeting, I write loads and loads of posts in advance, and they all go out. You know, I filled up at a scheduler app and I have them all going out or that I batch podcast episodes that I have like months in advance have all these episodes. I am a grid worker, my that's my spirit leader design. And because of that, I am very organized. I like structure. I would love to be able to batch content. However, my human design type as a self projective projector, every relatively recent within the last year, I've learned that one of the reasons batching content just does not always work well for me is because I like to write content in the moment I just do that.

Doesn't work for everybody. I have clients that it's easy for them to batch like 90 days worth of content. I follow people, oh, on Instagram that teach you how to write a month's worth of content day, you know? Amen. Amen. And on days that I have super I've talked about this right. VBAC awareness day was a great example. That day I woke up like the day before I wanted to celebrate the back awareness, it's obviating and I had a creative way they've come. And I wrote the wave and I pumped out a bunch of content. Now, if it wasn't for me back awareness day, I would have had 14 reels batched in two days that I could have spread out over. Like, I don't know, depending on how many times I wanted to post them, if it was once a week, it could have been 14 weeks worth of reels.


Um, but I uploaded them all in two days because I wanted to have them for VBAC awareness day. I don't recommend that for the record. It was a little ridiculous, but it was fun. I really enjoyed it. And I rode the wave. Yeah. And anyway, all of that to say, the way that I create content is, does not work for everybody. You know, there are people who prefer to batch. There are people who, um, don't want to create as often as I do. So, you know, when I'm in launch mode, I post much more frequently and yeah, much of it is original content. Some of it is recycled and repurposed older content that I bring back. I rewrite it with anything you level of understanding. And I hope why it, so what's going on around me right now. You know, the messages generally don't change.


You know, my core messaging generally doesn't change just the stories I tell or the way I tell them does another, for example, the way I talk about my brother's death, you know, Jared, my brother, Jared passed away in 2016 from a motorcycle accident. And the way I wrote about him, when I first started writing, what about him was very different than the way I write about him now. And so the way I create content is a way that works for me. I had to try different ways to figure this out though. And I've tried it lots of different ways and I see different ways that didn't necessarily work well for me worked really, really well for others. So I share those things with my clients. I say, look at this person, that's running a very successful business, and this is how she creates content. Look at this.


This is a way that, you know, her spirit leader design might be something like yours. She might function through the world like you, or if they share, if that particular person shares their human design on social media, because a lot of people do that now, then we're like, oh, okay. So if that person is this kind of human design and you also are, you might start to put some pieces together like, oh, okay, well that might make sense. Why I kind of do things like that or why, why I'm attracted to, or drawn to the way this person operates like this in their business. Another example I had because I'm a grad worker, because I build foundation, I build structure to support businesses, sustainable businesses, many birth workers are attracted to me because they come for structure. Now I do have a heavy dose of flow in my business as well, which is like the opposite of the structure.


But I think I'm pretty even keel that I've brought up both, but I really Excel in the structure and that's, I truly believe that many of my clients that joined my membership, um, or have worked with me privately, they come for the structure. And I know how to do that because many of them, many birth professionals are energy workers. Uh, it makes sense. Energy workers are people that make you feel better just by being there and the traditional birth, the traditional doula business model, I should say, or birth professional business model is that you are physically there. You're in homes, you're with patients or clients. You know, if I say patient, because you might be, um, a pelvic floor, physical therapist, right? And so you are with patients. If you're a birth doula, you are at burns and you're making people feel better, feel good, feel calm just by being there.


What I've found about energy workers though, is sometimes they come to me because they need more structure and want more structure because they want to build a sustainable business because their energy is being depleted and that's totally normal. It happens. And if you're a projector, I'm a projector. It also happens. Your energy is depleted. So how can you continue to build a business with a sustainable, um, sustainable business, earning a living wage with foundation and structure and honoring your energy. It is possible. I'm seeing it happen over and over again. It's not just for me. It's not just for one or two of my clients. It's for people who decide it's happening, the more I'm available for it, the more I'm seeing it happen.


Okay. So we riffed a little bit with some examples, but let's go back to the traditional roles and what to take with you into your business from today, forward in the new and your new life and your new world. And, you know, however you want to describe it and what to leave behind if part of the traditional roles feel good. Keep that. That was one of the last things I said before I left. But if it feels fun to do things a little bit differently, even when people around you sound like naysayers and it feels fun to do things in a more evolved way, do that. And you're in the right place, your role cool in this industry and beyond maybe ever changing. And I hope it is because otherwise you will get bored. We are here to evolve and to expand, not to stay in the same thing forever and ever, and ever. That was what our grandparents great grandparents had to do. Right? They worked the same job for 50 years and that was what they hung their hat on, but we're not doing that anymore. Your role might be all in person and that's where you light up and you just, you live, breathe, eat, sleep in person work. Your role might be a hundred percent virtual or your role might be some hybrid of both. Okay?

Your role might include services that are more traditional. For example, birth doula or encapsulating placentas, or doing in-home posts work, or your role might include educating other birth professionals about fill in the blank. You're really good at something that you Excel in that might have nothing to do with birth work like technology, if you're really into assistance and technology, why can't you bring that into your business? A lot of birth professionals struggle with technology. That could be part of the way that you're showing up in our industry. Your role might include educating new families, using tools like tech talk, or I do reels. I am living for the amount of birth professionals that are spreading education and awareness using these tools to get to more people that might be where you light up. You might be a little bit of a light worker. And I love being in the spotlight and love sharing information and love sharing stories and bringing light to the business.


You might be an educator where you're bringing education in different ways. You might be a writer and writing about birth related topics for blogs or even others' blogs because normal birth professionals like to write, but they would like words on their website for SEO reasons. So if writing is your jam and you love birth, part of your role might be to write about birth because they're also maybe people out in the collective new family community that doesn't like to talk over that isn't on Instagram, but they like to read. And they like blogs. Lots are not a thing at the old days. Logs are very important. And there are people, a lot of people who prefer to read or they prefer to podcast, or they prefer hold on interruption by a child.


Okay. Saved. So people prefer consuming different types of media podcasts, listening to podcasts, some to watch YouTube videos, some prefer to watch reels on Instagram, in micro micro pieces of information, some prefer to read blogs. So the same goes for you when you're creating content, you know, or your car, you're adding roles to your, the way you're showing up in this industry. What are your strengths? What are the things you have fun doing? You might be creating tools for other birth professionals to use in their business. We talked about this a little bit when technology or with writing, but it's not limited to that. Right? So birth professionals that our business owners don't, I think one of the biggest hurdles in the beginning is you realize you have to learn how to do something, how many different things to start and run your own business.


But the thing is, you really don't have to do it all yourself. So if more of us show up and provide the things that we enjoy and Excel at and helping others build their business, that's how we expand, not just in our industry, but as, as humans. That's how we evolve is that connect goodness, that collaboration, that circle of supporting each other, other and bringing each one's unique strengths of table. This is not a competition. This is not to see who can have the most births this year or who can make the most money this year. That's not what we're doing here. That's not the goal making money as amazing. You know, I love people making money because it means we have more options and we can help more, but that's not the primary driver. The primary driver is helping more people. And your role sometimes might not be that you are on the front lines in hospitals or in people's homes.


Maybe you will maybe only for certain people, maybe you're like, I actually don't really like that part. That much. I love birth. I'm fascinated with birth, but I don't really want to be in clients. There's nothing wrong with that. And there's like this. A lot of people tell me, give me that in private conversations a lot. So if you're listening and you're somebody that has told me that I'm not spilling your beans, I would not do that because integrity. Um, it's not just you though. A lot of people are enjoying other parts of the business more than they're enjoying some of that client interaction. And there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, your role might be to help other professionals move their businesses. I had to have this, I had to do this work on myself. A couple of years ago, I started working with doulas summer of 2019 two years ago, I opened the doulas going digital Facebook group.


And I just started going live talking about various online business things because people kept asking me things. And I was like, I might have to do this in a way that makes sense for my life. And so, um, meaning having like, uh, a lot of private DM conversations on how to start an online business was I just really didn't have the minutes anymore. You know, I was balancing life with three kids and running my business. So I decided to educate a lot of people at once. And that's, that's how I thrive. That's part of me, migrant worker shining is that that's how I really Excel is being able to teach a lot of people at once. And so I, I had to have this, this episode is kind of part of the processing for that. I went through back then that a lot of my clients are starting to look at was, well, I'm not doing this right, because I'm not doing it the way that I was supposed to, or the way that I learned in my training trainings are amazing.


And also you might not use some of that stuff. It's okay. You take what feels good from everywhere that you are and you leave the rest and that's okay. And so couple of years ago, for me, what that looked like was, well, my role might not be at births. That's not really what lights me up. Certain birds. Yes. Certain people. I wouldn't miss it for the world, but not just everybody. That's not really what lights me up. I realized that where I'm shining the most is bringing together and marrying the different things that I love the most. I love talking to other birth professionals. I love talking about birth. I love doing business, especially online. I geek out about digital marketing and marketing online, meeting your clients online, putting things together, like email lists and freebies and you know, selling digital products. Like I really enjoy that stuff and energy work if using it all with energy work and doing it differently than the digital marketing space.


And so digital marketers, if you're listening, please don't hate me. But a lot of there's an entire industry that makes money off of telling you you're doing that the wrong way also. So you're not spoiler alert. You're not doing any of this wrong. You can't do this wrong. And so I, I had to realize for myself that my role was going to be teaching you how to do these pieces, to help you help more people in shining your role, whatever that is. And now I've realized two years later that my clients are not all birth doulas. They're not all postpartum to list. They have all of these beautiful, unique skills and interests and passions. And when we start to guide them through bringing it all together and marrying it and allowing themselves to redefine their role as a birth professional, that is where the expansion happens. The constant here, allowing your business to flow with your expansion, remembering that you can't screw this up. And that every single one of us gets to create a business that is as unique as we are.


And when You learn the fundamentals of doing business, especially as it pertains to the online space, you can apply them to any evolution of your business.


Meaning when you learn how to do something on your website, something techie, it works for your birth website. If that's where you're starting. And then if you decide you want to evolve into something else, you can apply what you learned there to this other thing. If you learn how to start an email list and create a free thing to provide to people so that you can have their email address so that you can email them directly. And they're more likely to hear your message and get the information that you're sharing, because the Instagram algorithm doesn't always work in our favor. Most people are not seeing our social media posts. Let's just, let's call a spade a spade. But if you learn, when you learn how to set those tech pieces up so that you can communicate with your, your community directly in their inbox, you can then apply that to any evolution of your business, because now you know

How to do it. When you learn How to make a sales page, when you learn how to create content, when you learn how to make a real, if that's what you want to do any of these fundamentals, when it, especially like I said, when it comes to the online space, because that's where I shine. Then you just use what you've learned as your business evolves. Oh, the last thing that I want to share to leave you with as you go through the week, it's a question for you. My suggestion is to get a journal, your whatever journal you usually write in. And if you don't have one, just get some paper. How will you redefine your role as a birth professional this year? How will you second question? How will you allow yourself To be fully expressed in your business? Well, that looked like you might even post the question as what would it look like if I were fully expressed in my business


And I Invite you to share, you couldn't even use those as content prompts and you could write a post about it. And if you do that, or if you make a video about it, or if you make a real, any, you know, whatever, it feels good, share it to social media tag me. I want to see. Um, and you might just keep it for yourself, but I'm excited. I hope this stirs something in you. And I hope that you take this invitation to feel fully expressed because that is where expansion happens. And yes, we want that in our business. We want business expansion, but also that's what we're here to do.