Episode 89 transcript:

S
Um, so like you do when you help, you know, women have babies and you're there for their natural births and, you know, what's what they're capable of, you know, what's inside of them, you just kind of guide them and help them bring it out. And I think that's, that's a lot, I always say like birth and business feels so similar to me in a lot of ways. And that's one of the ways, right? It's like we, our doulas are very much, like one of our roles is like guiding and that's how it feels to doula people's businesses to,

Speaker 2: (04:12)
For sure. I definitely feel that you've been my, um, my business doula.

Speaker 1: (04:18)
I like that I'll take it. I did have. So I guess we should back up a little bit and actually introduce you first since we just dove in and started chatting, but like tell us a little bit more, you know, introduce and tell us what you're doing and I know where you live, but like where you live and kind of what's going on in your life and in your business.

Speaker 2: (04:37)
My name is Alex. I'm a holistic and virtual doula. Um, I'm from Hampton, Ontario. It's the, it's a suburb of Toronto and I help natural minded women achieve their desired birth. Um, so my business has really evolved since, um, since we connected. Um, I don't know if you remember, but when we first connected, I didn't even, I wasn't even really sure about my IgE handle.

Speaker 2: (05:12)
And I had a very small following and I was afraid of talking about the things that I was passionate about because I was just, I was afraid of offending people or ruffling feathers. Um, but since then, things have really changed. I've done the work and implemented all of the things that you've taught me. And, um, things have evolved so much, especially since COVID hit, because I've had to really pivot my business. I realized that I wouldn't be allowed into hospitals anymore. And I thought, okay, this is the perfect opportunity for me to support and focus on those home birth clients, which was my ideal client that, that I desired to work with. I was just afraid to put it out there. Um, so things have really changed since then. And I'm supporting mostly home birth clients and then some clients who are having unmedicated births in hospital, but mostly home birth clients. And my whole year is booked up with home birth clients, which is incredible. And, um, I attended a sovereign birth last month, which was a really great learning experience for me. And it was just such a thrill and there's nothing I love more than supporting women in achieving that desired birth and finding their power, um, and then tucking them into bed afterwards. There's nothing like it.

Speaker 1: (06:46)
Yeah. I do remember the Instagram handle and colors and we're talking branding colors. And so mind you, everybody who's soliciting like Alex joined the mastermind, the first round that it ever ran, which was January of 2020. So we opened like less than two months before COVID so like two months into the first six month round of the mastermind COVID happened. And I was like, I was kind of panicking too. Cause I thought, oh my God, like, how are we going to do that? You know, I mean, we're obviously virtual cause I'm in Florida, she's in Canada, but it was, um, it was kind of, um, a heavy thing for all of us. And so we were like that initial group of, I forget if there was 12 of us, but we were like going through that experience together and it was pretty intense.

Speaker 2: (07:40)
It was, it was really, really heavy. And I remember at the time thinking like, am I even doing the right thing? Should I give up on this doula thing? It was, there's a lot of pivoting and growth that had to happen, but I'm so glad that it did happen because it forced me to really go after my ideal client. Um, and it's funny that you mentioned colors because I remember having a call with you and showing you my water bottle, which was like a Turk wiser, light blue at the time and be like, this is what I want my branding colors to be. And just looking back, it's just, it's so funny. And, um, it's interesting talking about it because I don't realize how far I've come until I start talking about it with you.

Speaker 1: (08:28)
You have, and you, I remember even like, cause you were postpartum a couple months with your second, right. And you were like the words, remember like the words were you, were you? I didn't notice it because an outsider wouldn't have noticed I honestly, but you were like noticing that it was hard to come up with words.

Speaker 2: (08:46)
I definitely had difficulty speaking and I had a really hard time putting together content. I remember I was breastfeeding around the clock and my wouldn't nurse every like half hour to an hour and a half, like through the night for the first eight months. So it was a lot on me and I just felt like my brain was mush. It was really, it was, it was something looking back. It was a good experience though. And it was a part of my growth.

Speaker 1: (09:12)
Yeah. And it's also something like, you know, I've, I've been thinking a lot lately about that. Um, those things that we do early on in business that seem you're like, what was I thinking? But also it was exactly what I needed because I think without sharing, like anybody's personal information, but like what, what I found and that first, you know, I wasn't sure of what to expect with the first run of the mastermind either. I just knew that I would be holding the container. This was the intention. Everybody wanted to build the or dream businesses. And that's where we all were, was in this space of being nonjudgmental. We wanted that feeling of kind of, um, more, more connected than peers, but like a family support of people who get it. And it was a lot deeper. The calls ended up being, you know, and they still are a lot deeper than I originally may have thought they would be because that was exactly what many of us needed sometimes.

Speaker 1: (10:03)
And sometimes, you know, certain calls are more focused on like strategy and this and that. And then sometimes depending on where the collective energy goes, it's just deep. And during that time, because of co that it was a really deep time, but I think I needed it to like, you know, there were times I would get off of our group calls and I thought, is this for me or for them? Because I always felt like, even though I was the one holding the container, you know, you feel very held when you're working with the people that, um, are your ideal clients and you probably feel the same way when you're attending a home birth, you go home and you're like on a high, right?

Speaker 2: (10:38)
Yeah. So it's actually really funny that you say that because it resonates with me so much, like having certain conversations with clients, um, it can be really healing because I feel like it's for me too. And just from sharing my story and talking about my feelings that I may have had through my pregnancy or birth experience or postpartum, um, just sharing that story can be healing.

Speaker 1: (11:03)
Yeah, no, I get that. And I, we, I was thinking about this too, like, you know, you've met your people and you are doing the thing you're supposed to be doing with the people you're supposed to be doing it with when your interactions with them, calls, meetings, whatever it is, leaves you feeling more energized and not depleted. I mean, there's the very obvious, like physical exhaustion of you've been in a very long birth, but if your energy not physical, but like your, your spiritual energy feels very lit up after then you're like, this is it.

Speaker 2: (11:40)
I feel lit up just listening to that because recently I've only had consultations that like light me up. I feel like I'm on fire. And I remember back to when we first started working together, I really, really struggled to get clients. And a big part of that was just like, by energy, me being postpartum, um, my mood was affected by not sleeping. So all of those things, so shifting and pivoting has really helped me align with those clients that light my fire.

Speaker 1: (12:12)
Yeah. And so you're doing mostly home births in person, but you also are doing online stuff too, right?

Speaker 2: (12:20)
I am. So I, um, I'm doing a hybrid of both in-person and virtual. I offer virtual birth courses. Um, it's called the better birth blueprint and it's a lot, it's about unlearning and relearning a lot of the conditioning. And I teach my clients how to have their best birth. I also incorporate, um, a module about postpartum support and how to plan for postpartum. And then I'm also offering virtual doula support tech support and home birth support, which I'm so passionate about. It's a little bit difficult to balance, um, because I do have two very young kids under three. Um, but I'm just so passionate about it. And like I said, there's nothing like witnessing the strength of a mother, um, like after birth and just witnessing that oxytocin high. I get off, I get high off of it too.

Speaker 1: (13:16)
Yeah. I mean, I, I've heard people talk about like birth professionals, talk about their, how their body reacts when they're at a natural birth, you know, that your body reacts to the hormones. And I think it's really, really cool. Um, I could geek out over that. And also for the record, like her daughter is like the cue. I mean, both your kids, right. But your daughter is like showing interests. You'd the way she plays with your birth, uh, childbirth ed props. So cute. I love all these birth worker kids that are like, you know, they're, they're more conscious and more aware of like things and the conversations that they hear and the way that they play with these toys is like, you know, these prompts, childbirth ed prompts is like, can you imagine how much different the next generation of all of these kids are going to be?

Speaker 2: (14:06)
That is the hope. That is definitely the hope. So funny. My daughter knows what a placenta is and yeah. It's so cute. Thank you for saying that.

Speaker 1: (14:16)
Yeah, it's exciting. It is. It's really exciting to me. And so what do you think about, um, so this is a question that comes up for a lot of my clients that are maybe starting to do more in-person stuff. And so, um, I've noticed for myself in my business, how my online presence supports in person stuff, but I'd be curious to hear like, so cause you're doing the hybrid. So how does your online presence, because you're very active on Instagram and you create reels and you have beautiful content and you're doing a lot of educating, a lot of awareness. Um, how does that support your in-person practice?

Speaker 2: (14:53)
Thank you so much for saying that that means a lot coming from you. Um, so basically I've married all of my passions. I'm a former chef. Um, I do share recipes here and there, but I haven't been doing it so much. Um, one of my other passions is reducing toxic load because I have struggled with my health a lot. So that is one of my passions. So I enjoy sharing the products that I love and ways to reduce toxic load over my Instagram account. I share a lot of information about physiological birth, my lifestyle, um, human rights and informed consent, which I'm also extremely passionate about and freedom of choice. I really want people to know that they hold the power and not the government, not their care provider and not anybody else it's all within them. So, um, I definitely incorporate all of that into my social media and that's what helps attract my ideal client. And I, I live and breathe what I do. So, um, by showcasing that on my Instagram account, that is what supports my, um, in-person practice as well.

Speaker 1: (16:02)
Do you think a lot of your local clients find you through Instagram?

Speaker 2: (16:06)
Yeah. So a lot of people find me through Instagram and then I've had a few people find me through referrals as well. And three mom, mom groups in my area.

Speaker 1: (16:19)
You know, that's a really good point about like bringing marrying all of your passions. This came up with Elena a few weeks ago also because I think a lot of, um, small business owners, especially, I mean, I'm more familiar with birth professionals, but, um, feel like they have to compartmentalize things like I need a separate page. If it were your business, for example, they might say something like, well, I need a separate page for the toxic load passion, and I need a separate page for my cooking and I need a separate page for this. And it's like, there are times when I think it's beneficial to have separate accounts depending on the situation. But I, I prefer that we get to know the multi-faceted individual of Alex, right? Like we get this full picture of what you're all about, what your passions are and part of the way that your mission expresses itself right now is through being at birth.

Speaker 1: (17:08)
And so like over the years and years, this stuff will evolve. Right. But like, we know you, we know what you're about. So I like that personally, because as a consumer, when I'm shopping for things, um, even as recent as Christmas, I was looking for a gold necklace for myself and I wanted to find something from a small business owner. Right. But I was like shopping around on Etsy and I'm trying to figure out people a little cause I'm like, I want to buy from somebody that I feel like I can connect with. Not just who has a good rating on Etsy. And so, um, it was really frustrating because not a lot of business owners do that. And I thought, you know, there's a couple and I really enjoyed not just buying from them, but then, you know, sharing about it on social media so that other people could get to know them. And I don't know, I like, I like buying from people and working with people, not always with a logo, you know,

Speaker 2: (17:59)
All of that's really important. And that resonates with me too. I think it is important to, um, allow yourself to be seen. And this was something I was so afraid of in the beginning. Like you could not find me on reels or there wasn't even reels then, but you could not find me on video. I don't even think I had a picture of my face. I was just so, so afraid of showing up, but I think it's really important to show up so that people get a feel for you. And then I remember being at a point where I also was wondering, oh, do I need to make separate pages for all of my passions, but I really think it would be exhausting. I'm dabbling in a few different things right now, too. I'm selling, um, pine needle tea right now. It's a really big trend. A lot of people are looking for a pine needle teeth, um, tying vitamin C and really healing. So I'm selling pine needle tea, and then I'm also taking a birth photography course as well. So,

Speaker 1: (18:57)
Mm. So you're going to do, um, I, I don't think that I had another client that was, um, they do have a talk and so she was doula slash photographer. Like she would do it all at once. Are you considering doing it at like at home births as you're the doula and photographer?

Speaker 2: (19:16)
Yeah. So I've been doing that. Um, but I've never taken a birth photography course before, so I'm taking that course just to up my game a little bit and learn a little bit more, but I, I have been offering, um, birth photography as a bonus to my home birth clients this year.

Speaker 1: (19:34)
Oh, very cool. Very, very cool. Um, and yeah, your reels are really fun. I know reels are really fun. I like reels and I feel like, um, they're just a really fun way to share like snippets, very digestible, small digestible pieces of information, and they show your personality and you, that is one of the things like you said, you know, getting the confidence and building up the confidence to get on camera is a whole thing for a lot of people. So that, and what other big hurdles do you think it was for you to get from where we were, you know, a year and a half ago to like now

Speaker 2: (20:14)
There's been a lot of hurdles in my business. Um, it's been very much like preparing for a natural or physiological birth to me. I can really compare the two processes because, um, it's taken me a lot of unlearning and relearning and a lot of inner work, you know, there's just so much conditioning around everything but business too. So, um, growing up, I was told that, you know, money's money doesn't grow on trees and my parents, they own a business and they worked very hard. They're immigrants. Um, so thought that you had to work really hard and that life had to be hard. So this was a part of my conditioning and I had to work through that. And once I realized that business can be fun, my energy and everything really changed. So that was one of the major, one of my major breakthroughs. Um, and I've always wanted to focus on physiological birth and home birth, and it's always been a dream of mine, but I was just so afraid because I didn't want to offend anybody.

Speaker 2: (21:18)
Um, and I know that it can offend people just with what I went through, preparing from my two home births. There's a lot of judgment and, um, fear based projections. I was also really afraid to show up because I was afraid of what people would think of me, what my mother-in-law would say about me. Um, especially in the beginning when we first started working together. And, um, now I realized that it was me, that was getting in my own way and I had to work through those blocks, which you've helped me with so much. Um, and I'm realizing that it's truly a never ending journey. There's always something that, um, something that I'm working through to improve.

Speaker 1: (22:03)
Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 1: (22:10)
I agree, like thinking about the, the money blocks and the conditioning that we were raised, like there's so much, there's so many aspects of our lives that we are conditioned, um, birth money, what your career is supposed to look like, how women are supposed to behave. Um, the, the hierarchy that was created between the two genders that create so much, um, anger among people that don't fit into comfortably, this hierarchy, like there's just, there's so much conditioning and that brings up you're right. Like a lot of projected feelings and a lot of anger and a lot of, um, people that get offended by things or that you, you know, and I hear it too. I get, I get lashed out at quite a bit. Well, I shouldn't say quite a bit, but increasingly, um, the louder I get about things and, um, it's not that I I'm like, you know, everybody just be yourself and be a jerk, but like, we do have to be ourselves. We have to be true to ourselves and you can be coming from the kindest, most wholehearted, compassionate place and still upset people. Um, because there will be, there'll always be people that are triggered.

Speaker 2: (23:29)
Yep. That's, that's very true. And, um, I found that I stopped speaking my truth, especially after I had my daughter, because I felt like I didn't want to offend people. Like the way I birth my kids was very different than the way most people birth their kids in my circle. My breastfeeding journey has been very different from other people's feeding journeys. And then the way that I take care of my children's health has also been different. Um, everything that I've done has just been different. So, um, I have triggered a lot of people, but I realized that if I'm not living true to me, then I'm only hurting myself.

Speaker 1: (24:10)
Yeah, it's true. And I think the more that you do, the more that you are living true to yourself and fully expressing who you are, sadly, some of the people in old circles, just, I don't want to say you outgrow each other, but they just kind of aren't around as much. It just naturally happens because they are, might not be comfortable with the decisions that we're making. Um, and same here, you know, I don't, the people that I I'll, what I'll say is like the people I spend a lot of time with 10 years ago, um, I don't really see much anymore or hear from anymore. And it's, it's not like there's any bad feelings or anything like that. It's just that, um, the more you, you just, yeah, the more expressed you are to your, your truest version of you, um, just there's people that don't align with that. And the beautiful thing about living in 2021 is that we have things like zoom so that you still get to have a circle of like-minded people, people who are like, I get you and you get to hang out even virtually for now. You know, so most of the people that I spend time with are actually hundreds of thousands of miles away from me.

Speaker 2: (25:29)
It's amazing though. And like, how incredible is that, that we have access to the internet to connect with these people. Because if we didn't, things may be a little bit different and maybe we'd feel a little bit more lonely, like that resonates with me too. A lot of people who have connected with since COVID, um, they're online and I'm very close with them and it's just so nice being able to find your people.

Speaker 1: (25:56)
Yeah. Which really speaks to virtual support even for birth professionals, with pregnant people too, because I'm not planning on having any other kids. Um, I'm pretty sure that we're, you know, I'm pretty sure we're happy with our three, if we ever did. Um, my person who I know would be the person that I would want to support me is on the complete other side of the United States from me. And we would do virtual support because that's my person, no matter if she's an hour from me or on the other side of the country, like that's the person that I want holding space for me. And she doesn't have to be physically present, but that's who I feel safe with. And I think that, um, you know, a lot of people question the value of virtual support and it's not, it's not going to be the same as someone, if she was sitting here holding my hand.

Speaker 1: (26:42)
Yes, I would love that or squeezing my hips or whatever. But, um, you know, there's just times that that can't happen and we've learned that. So I think that that speaks volumes and we are really lucky to be able to connect. I would imagine that our ancestors, right, like anybody, not that we really brought this part up, but like a few generations ago, if our great grandparents weren't quote normal and weren't doing, if like our grandmothers, weren't wanting to birth the way that everybody else did, or weren't wanting to, like, if they were more into spirituality instead of religion, or, you know, like something that wasn't the norm, then they might not have had friends. They might've not, they, it probably was pretty lonely and they probably felt pretty outcasted. I've talked to him. I mean, this is not where I expected this conversation to go.

Speaker 1: (27:34)
But, um, you know, my dad had shared with me that his mother, um, so my grandmother on my dad's side, um, that she was really, she was into like tarot card readings back in what, the fifties in the middle east. And like, her husband was like, no, you can't do that. Like you just can't. So no. So he had like, he wouldn't let her. And so she couldn't do like tarot card readings and stuff. And so it's just really interesting, right? Because like, things like that, um, are starting to come back mainstream Oracle cards to RO um, crystals, um, even, even with a lot of birth professionals coming online in the last year, even like natural birth is starting to be a lot more of a conversation. Celebrities are starting to talk about it more. Um, and so it's because these things are coming back, being more normalized now, which I'm really grateful for, because if we were, you know, doing things outside of the norm, a couple of generations ago, we would not have had support.

Speaker 2: (28:47)
Um, virtual support has been such a blessing and, um, it's just so easily accessible. And I really noticed that, well, I've just had such a hard time saying yes to support because there's this pressure for women to do it all, to do all the things, be the mom be successful in your career, have a clean house, have a perfect house, look good, all the things, um, raise your children, cook all your meals, all the things, but it's really hard to do it all alone. So I noticed that when I got support finally, like, so when I got support, uh, you were the first person that I went to for support, which was in my business. And that's when my life started changing.

Speaker 1: (29:38)
I remember I remember us having some conversations back about support, about the areas of your life, that you could allow yourself to receive support.

Speaker 2: (29:47)
And since I've allowed for people to support me, my life has changed for the better. So thank you.

Speaker 1: (29:55)
Good. That's good to know, too. That's really good to hear because that's a hard thing for us, right? Like we are told that we're supposed to be able to do it all, but that's not real. That's a recipe for disaster

Speaker 2: (30:07)
And burnout and depression and anxiety and all the things.

Speaker 1: (30:11)
Well, it, something would have to give, right. And so like what would give, if we had to maintain everything in our, like the dishes, this is it's two, o'clock my time while we're recording this and this morning's dishes are still sitting in the sink. My dishwasher still has clean stuff in it because it's not a priority today. It will happen sometime before the kids go to bed tonight, I'll clean all the dishes and everything. But if, if I had to, if I had no support and everything else had to be maintained by me, then the business would have to give, right? Like, cause the kids have to eat and I'd have to run the dishwasher so that we have clean dishes for tomorrow. So like the business would probably be the thing that would have to give. And then ultimately that would mean my joy and your joy. And like, why don't we get to experience joy?

Speaker 2: (30:55)
That's interesting that you bring up joy in business because I find that like the more I work in, the more that I put out, the happier I am. And I remember one of our first conversations, actually, I think it was, are you offered like a free chat to see if people aligned with your mastermind. And I remember telling you one of the things that I told you is I don't just want to be a mom. I don't just want to be a mom. And I noticed like the more that I do in my business, the happier I am and the more joy I feel.

Speaker 1: (31:29)
And then you get to show up differently when you're with your family.

Speaker 2: (31:32)
Exactly. I'm a, I'm a completely different person.

Speaker 1: (31:37)
I get it. I do. And I haven't, I had my own little guilt thing over that recently. Cause my son, God, on mother's day, I shared it to my IgE story. So it's not a secret, but on mother's day, you know, that paper that kids fill out, it's like, my mom has brown hair. My mom's favorite color is whatever.

Speaker 2: (31:56)
Oh yeah. I saw that.

Speaker 1: (31:57)
His was his said, my mom's favorite thing to do is work on the computer. And I was like, my initial reaction was like, oh my God, my son thinks that my favorite thing to do is be at the computer. And that like hurt my soul because I'm like, buddy. My favorite thing to do is to be in the sand, like with you guys, like, that's my favorite thing. I love my work, you know, but it was, I had to get to a place cause I felt initially I felt guilt. And I was like, I had to process it for myself. And I'm like, wait a minute, let me think about this. Right. Because like, okay, so what is he learning? And this is important, I think for us, but also for anybody, who's a parent who's raising and building a business of their dreams. Like I've struggled with this too of like, should I not be doing this sometime?

Speaker 1: (32:46)
Should I be more with the children? But what I've decided is that, you know, when, when we were kids, you know, parents had to go to work. It wasn't mom gets to go to work and she has fun when she's working on her computer. It was mom has to work today and has to pick me up at six o'clock from after-school care. I don't have to do that. You know, I get to get, I get to pick him up at three and I get to spend the whole afternoon after three o'clock with him. And I get to do a job that I really liked doing, you know? And so like when I, the more I thought through the mother's day paper, I was like, you know what? I actually think it's a gift. I do. I think it's a gift to show my son and my daughters as they get old enough to understand that, like get to do what you want and you get to enjoy it and you get to do it in a way that still creates space for you showing up as your happiest fulfilled self.

Speaker 1: (33:45)
When you're with the kids. You know, I took the girls to the beach a couple of days ago and I totally checked out and I spent mid day at the beach. I worked in the morning, took them to the beach and then came back and worked in the afternoon. And it was like, I was totally present when I was with them. So it changes things because I also don't just want to be a mom. It doesn't feel fulfilling enough to me. I need my thing outside of motherhood. Like my kids lighten me up like nothing else in this world. And I have a primal, incredible, strong love for them. And I still need my thing outside of that. Them

Speaker 2: (34:22)
That resonates with me so much.

Speaker 1: (34:25)
And I think it takes the pressure off the kids too. Right. Because I heard something somewhere. I think it was like the conscious, conscious parenting Instagram account or something that they were like, there was a, you know, they say sometimes, you know, don't say this, say this, don't say it. So I don't always do exactly what they say. Sometimes they just come out when I'm talking to the kids, but it was, it was really good point. Cause it was like, don't tell the kids something like, um, you're making me sad or you're the way you're treating me is doing that. Just the way that they described it. I'm probably not using the perfect words, but it was basically like you're putting too much pressure on these little humans that they feel like they are responsible for your happiness. Yeah. Your happiness, your sadness, like your feelings. And I was like, whoa. Yeah. And so if they think that my happiness is only from being a stay at home parent, that's a lot of pressure.

Speaker 2: (35:22)
Definitely. And I think it's really good for kids to learn too, that things outside of them shouldn't really be tied to their happiness. Like it's not sorry. It's not other people's responsibility to make them happy is what I meant

Speaker 1: (35:37)
To say. Yeah. No, it's, that's very true. Very, very true. Um, so I think, I think we're doing a good job. Um, okay. So this one was not something that I planned to ask, but if you want to share, you can, um, what's, what's coming this year. Like what is the rest of 20, 21 or 2022? Like what is something, if you're comfortable sharing that, like you're dreaming about bringing into your reality for your business.

Speaker 2: (36:05)
So when I feel lit up and on fire, I'm just like buzzing with so many ideas and so many things that I want to do. Um, I just, I don't know if it's all gonna happen, but I do want to automate my birth course. That has been a goal of mine since we started working together. So that for sure it can be done. And then, um, I'm not sure if I can continue to support as many clients in person next year, I might have to change things depending on, um, COVID and just everything that's going on because schools have been closed here. Um, like in-person school has been closed here and my daughter's supposed to start school next year. So we'll see where things go. Um, I've also been thinking about making a body butter for everybody like a body butter for babies. It can use done on adults, on pregnant bellies, all the things. And I'd like to incorporate more healthy eating and maybe a recipe ebook or maybe even a postpartum planning course into, um, into my plans for next year.

Speaker 1: (37:19)
I just wrote this down because I was like, man, I could see you having like a reality show about like holistic living. Like, because you posted something recently about for foraging,

Speaker 2: (37:35)
Oh, foraging, the pine needles. I was talking about the T and M foraging is one of my passions, like going into the forest and forging edible foods. It's awesome.

Speaker 1: (37:45)
Okay. So I keep doing this and I can't help myself, but like that as a course that other birth professionals would probably be like, can you please teach me how to do that? Because I didn't even know what the word meant. And so when you posted it, that was the first thing I thought. And I forgot to tell you that, but when you posted it, I was like, well, that's a course or a workshop or something that teaches, you know, it's a tool that teaches other birth professionals, just like a hobby, an activity, just something that people want to learn. Like not everything has to do with having certifications for business. Right. But like just learning things from people. And so that would be so cool. And then for a second, I was like, man, that would be a really cool reality show. Like chef turned, you know, former chef turned holistic forging doula and you know, just following you around, cause like, think about it. Like most people are not doing the things the way that you do them with your family even. And I don't know that would, that would just be really, really cool.

Speaker 2: (38:46)
Thank you for saying that. Um, we definitely live a different lifestyle and some people call us hippy dippy or they may think we're a little bit weird, but I just find that connecting with nature too has been so healing for me. I think that can resonate with you too with all of the beach trips that you've been making with your kids.

Speaker 1: (39:06)
Okay. So confession. Um, so I'm an earth sign, right? Like I'm a tourist and wait, you are to know

Speaker 2: (39:15)
An air sign. I'm an Aquarius.

Speaker 1: (39:17)
Okay. So, um, I have been feeling much more called to spend time in the earth lately. Um, but in Florida for one, my confession is I've never been to a forest really? Nope. Never been to a place. Like I follow a couple of people who live near forest and they go exploring in the forest all the time and I'm, I'm totally living vicariously through their Instagram stories. And I would love to go at some point. The thing about living in Florida is one like there's forest, but it's not really like the forest like you guys have. And in Florida, like you could go out in nature nature, but it's, it's basically like, there are absolutely alligators everywhere where there's little bodies of water and there's snakes. So like we took the kids and it's so blistering hot right now that it's hard for me to enjoy being outdoors unless I'm at the beach.

Speaker 1: (40:24)
The beach is a place that I feel totally comfortable sitting on the earth because I there's no bugs out there. Like there's Florida is just so full of critters and like stuff that it's not always enjoyable for me to be out. And our neighborhood is full of pesticides. So like it's hard for me to really sit in the grass in our neighborhood and outside because there's pesticides everywhere. And it's like, well, am I really getting the benefit if I'm sitting in a bunch of what a truly Nolan crop or whatever it is. So, um, I, that's why I take the kids and shop them to the beach as often as I can, because like I can just sit and be in the water, you know, but there's not many other opportunities here that I enjoy being in nature. And when it was chilly, you're out, we took the kids to a couple, I think I shared stuff in stories. Like we took them to these, like these really simple little hikes, um, at these local national loaded with Gators loaded. Oh,

Speaker 2: (41:18)
That's scary. Especially with small

Speaker 1: (41:19)
Kids. And there was a few moments where, I mean, we were on a boardwalk, but you know, my son is so used to seeing the Gator in our backyard that I have to remind him like, buddy, these are wild animals, the one in our backyard as wild animal. But like out here, you can't play around with, you know, there's like this boardwalk deal and he's kind of goofin standing on the edge of it. And it's hard cause we have three young kids and only two hands. And even if it's me and my husband we're outnumbered. So, you know, and Amani is so fast and she runs, she ran from me at the beach yesterday or was it yesterday? Yeah, no day before I took her to the beach and she bolted on me cause she wanted to go get something from the Kona ice truck. And I had to run across the beach, which I don't run anymore. These hips do not like running. And so I was like, just like these people were cracking up laughing at me and I'm like, this is not funny. It's like 90 degrees out here. And I'm bolting through the sand chasing my two year old. So yeah, it is scary, right? Like to go places like that, where there are Gators like all over in the water and I'm like, oh, it's beautiful to look at it. But you just it's so tricky.

Speaker 2: (42:23)
Could you go on a road trip somewhere? Like I know in the states, there are a lot more open than here in Canada. Some of them anyways.

Speaker 1: (42:33)
Yeah, you totally can. And that's something that I'm, I'm working on with the husband. Like we're having conversations last summer. We were so close to running an RV so close and I kind of panicked at the last minute cause I was like, oh my God, I can't do this. I can't. I was just like, I panicked because I had just, I was freaking out about, um, honestly I was, I was really not sure how it would feel to sleep in a vehicle in the middle of the woods or like near people that were only separated by vehicle doors. Like I don't trust. I'm afraid of people sometimes. And especially like with my family and with my children, I'm super protective. And like I started to, I, we toward a local RV like parking area and I was like, oh my God, no, I can not sleep near these. I just panicked. I don't know.

Speaker 2: (43:26)
That's okay. You have to do whatever you're comfortable with. I'm like that too. And like super protective of my kids yesterday. I took them to a beautiful park. It was in a forest, there was like a Creek running through it. It was all mothers that were there. And there were two guys that walked up. They didn't have a dog, they didn't have any kids. And they walked up to the splash pad and they were looking at the kids and counting them. And I just walked up and I was like, oh, Hey, is that your baby over there? Just to throw them off a little bit. And then they walked away. They went to the playground and they were looking at the kids there and they, I heard them counting again. So I followed them and then they just ended up leaving. I think I threw them off because I kept asking them questions and talking to them. And then after they left, um, it was so weird. I had such an eerie feeling. Another mother came up to me and she said, did you get a really weird vibe from those guys? And I said, yeah, I did. They didn't have any kids or a dog. Um, so yeah, no, I don't blame you for, for being about sleeping in an RV and just being unsure about being that close to people. I'm with,

Speaker 1: (44:37)
I wish I felt more free in that way, you know? Cause I know that there's a lot of people, like I've had a lot of clients who one of their big dreams is to be like traveling, living trap, like living on the road in the buses that are converted to houses basically. Like have you seen it? You know, where they take a bus and make it like an RV ish?

Speaker 2: (44:56)
Yeah. That's really common actually here in Canada because prices have gone up. I don't know what real estate is like in, in Florida, but prices here have sky rocketed and houses are really, they're not affordable at all anymore. So a lot of people are buying those kind of, um, like mobile homes.

Speaker 1: (45:17)
Prices are really wicked right now here too. And um, he, we had joked a little bit of an in the DMS on Instagram because our governor like opened everything up and was making a lot of decisions early on to open. So Florida has been open for like a year

Speaker 2: (45:33)
And I run the Santas.

Speaker 1: (45:35)
Yeah. And he gets a lot of heat, you know, he really does like there's people who are, who really, really hate him and they're, but you know, the thing about like my husband and I have a lot of conversations about that and about him, but like he is somebody who makes decisions and moves forward and he has been doing that. People, whether they like it or not, he's been doing it. And so the population of Florida is totally going up. And I mean, Tampa especially has had such a great year. Like I guess we, we won a super bowl or whatever. Like our sports teams have done really well this last year. So it's become a really, um, there's not much on the market either. And I do think that more people are traveling and like living on the road and on the go. And sometimes I'm like, man, that would be so cool to just be able to feel so carefree.

Speaker 1: (46:24)
But as a grid worker, I security and safety is just, it's a really big thing for me. And like it it's kind of triggering. And so, um, as a road trip would be really cool, but I was telling my husband recently, I'm like, you know, I don't think, I, I don't think I'm on board with the RV as fun as it looks. And there were even RVs that had bunk beds for the kids. And my kids were like, oh my God, we're going to live in a car. And I'm like, well kind of, but I just couldn't pull it and I couldn't get there. And um, I, I wouldn't mind doing like a big van, you know, and just driving. Like I wouldn't mind w I'm co we're close. We keep having the conversation. And I think as the kids get older, I would, I really, really would like to do it before they get too old. So,

Speaker 2: (47:09)
And you take your dog with you, like into the RV because I feel like he'd be great security. And then I think I've heard you say that you have a revolver.

Speaker 1: (47:21)
Well, not anymore. I mean, when I, when I first moved out when I was 18. Yeah. I felt, yeah, I was so scared cause was living like when I live by myself or with a roommate when I had a girl as my roommate, for the only time I ever had a girl roommate my whole life and it was so great. And, but yeah, I had, I bought a revolver, I got a house alarm, I got a Rottweiler. Um, I don't have all those things anymore, but we do have a Rottie he's just, he's such a sissy that it's like, is he, oh my God. Yeah. Like when we go walk, I walk him through the neighborhood. And when he sees, um, like yard, you know, people that come and do yard work in the neighborhood, he like starts whacking his nub and shaking. He's like, bro.

Speaker 1: (47:59)
And they go to pet him. I'm like, oh no, no, no, you probably don't want to pet him. I don't, I just don't trust him. And I try to pretend that he's a scary dog so that they won't come near me cause I'm scared of people and, and uh, not all people, but like, I don't know. I, it, safety is just a thing. And so, um, we would probably have to take him anyway because he can't really go to, it's hard for us to find people to watch him because he's not fixed. And so he's not allowed it like most animal hotels, you know? Um, so we'd probably have to do something anyway, but I don't know. Eventually I think that that would be my thing is like my homework to connect more with nature is to get into a forest. That would be a very cool thing for me because as of now it's mainly beach.

Speaker 2: (48:42)
It's so cool. Well, I'm super jealous of you by the way, for having a beautiful beach, I guess you always want what you don't have, but I just, I love the beach and I miss going on vacation and seeing the ocean and spelling the salty air. Like the beach is my happy place. And I remember when I was in labor with my daughter, um, what got me through my induction birth was focusing on memories of me being at the beach.

Speaker 1: (49:10)
Oh, wow. That is cool. Interesting. Because I wonder if you, if any of the meditations, so I started making more meditations after year round in the mastermind, but if you've done any of the business meditation, some of them, I take people to the beach because that's like my spot. Okay.

Speaker 2: (49:29)
I've, I've listened to one where you talk about like toes in the sand, I think, um, correct me if I'm wrong, but

Speaker 1: (49:38)
Yeah, no, it does. I do. Cause I I've done meditations from others where they take you to a meadow and I've always found it really hard for me to imagine because I've never been in a meadow. So I always find myself going to the beach instead. And so when I created a couple of those business meditations, um, I take people to the beach and there there's, we are really lucky here. We're like 45 minutes away from several like really, really nice beaches. Um, so yeah, I agree. Like it's always that like want what you don't have thing. And, but I mean, I, I really do love the beach it's um, and lately I've been enjoying, even spending time in the water, you know, water. That's not been, I enjoy taking baths also, but like bath water has been pumped in from pipes that it's being forced through pipes. Right. So like feels different than floating in a natural body of water. And the ocean is the only, like the shallow part of the ocean. It's the only place I feel safe doing that. Um, because alligators in lakes,

Speaker 2: (50:42)
I saw that you found a shark tooth, which scared me a little bit. I saw it in your Instagram stories. I found it really cool, but I was like, oh, that's kind of scary too.

Speaker 1: (50:51)
Well, yeah, like my mom, I just left her house earlier. You know, I just, we visited, uh, the kids bunnies today and I was talking to her about the shark's teeth and she's like, well, what'd you beach? Did you go to? So I told her and she's like, well, you know that, that little island, that's like three miles away from that beach. There's like a little, um, I forget what she called it, but it's a waterway the channel. And she's like, well, you know what? That, that channel is called. Right. And I'm like new. And she's like, well, people refer to that channel as the something shark channel. Cause that's like the shark hot spot of the area. And I was like, oh, well, I didn't know. So apparently, and when we were in the water a couple of days ago, I heard a lady say shark and I was like, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1: (51:32)
Yeah. Right. But there was a hammerhead shark, like 20 feet from us. And, and I didn't think they bite. And my, and so I had the girl I've pulled the girls back. We were shallow, shallow anyway. Cause the girls don't really go deep. Um, they like to goof in the ocean, but they don't like to swim cause the saltwater burns their eyes. So I was like, come back, come back, come back. And sure enough, like there was pretty good sized hammerhead in the water. So yeah. I was like, okay, well, good to know. Cause my son he's braver and he goes deeper and that kind of freaks me out. So I'm like maybe we should just like be a little more careful with that for now. Um,

Speaker 2: (52:06)
I'm about to have a heart attack. Just thinking about your son going in, that would kill me.

Speaker 1: (52:11)
Well, there were people that saw the shark and continued to go deeper. And I was like, what? I don't know if I get that.

Speaker 2: (52:20)
No, I don't know either. Um, one thing that I found really interesting that you were talking about is that your grid worker I'm a grid worker too. And it was interesting that you were saying that like safety is really important to you. I think it is to everybody. Um, but I'm extra. I don't know what the word is like anal about safety too. So I just found that really interesting about grid records.

Speaker 1: (52:44)
Well, and even since you had, since you were in the mastermind, like I've done, you know, since that, that back then, like I've been doing a lot more learning about our spirit leader design, especially my own obviously, cause I'm a great worker too. And um, incorporating that modality into our work and how we show up in our businesses. And so it's become, it's really enlightening and you know, there's the spirit leader, design explanation, like the grid worker explanation for why I always want to feel safe. And like that is one of the top priorities for me in so many areas of my life. Um, and then there's also like the experience, right? Like my life, current life experience. Um, so like the fear of not all men, but like no offense to anybody out lessening, but usually my audience is women or people that identify as women.

Speaker 1: (53:34)
Um, but I find myself like more fearful of white men than anything else. Um, and I know that that's because of my life experience maybe, maybe past life too, if we're talking about that spiritual stuff, but like, you know, it's no secret and it's not something I'm ashamed to talk about, but like my aunt was murdered, right. Like when I was a baby, she was murdered by a white man, like a serial killer and he abducted and raped and murdered her. I was like one and a half and I was too little to really like get it. But that's an experience that has lived on because throughout my life I see pictures of him on the internet and on TV. And like my mom talked about him and so like, you know, and he was a white man. And so like there was that, and I know that that's my own crap, you know, but like, like when I was walking in the neighborhood, it was a white man that was working in someone's yard nearby that was trying to talk to my dog. And I, like, I find my body reacting in a way that I don't always have control over when I am around white men. And um, so anyhow, yeah. Like there's layers, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 2: (54:40)
Sounds like a trauma response for sure. Um, I'm so sorry about your aunt.

Speaker 1: (54:46)
Oh, it's okay. Traumatic. I mean, I was too little to really honestly, I mean, thank you. I was just too little to really, um, I didn't, I don't remember, you know, she was young and I was really young. I was one and a half, so I don't remember or anything. It's just, you know, like I was the things that you go through life learning, right? Like I'm holding up this little trinket thing, but like walking with your keys in between your fingers. Right? Like, so my mom would teach me like, all these ways to always be on guard. Right. And so that's why I liked the thought of being in an RV in an RV park where I'm only protected by a door. I was like, ah, I can't do that. You know, it just, I couldn't get there. It looked really fun, but like, I just couldn't get there and not for, not then, but the tour park, I mean the RV park that we toured was like 98% white people, which is not, I mean, it's just what it is.

Speaker 1: (55:38)
But like that means there was a lot of white men and I was like, ah, I can't, I just, I panicked a little bit, you know, and you're right. It is a trauma response. And like, I just felt triggered and I feel like we've gone way off, but like, yeah, the good worker safety thing is, is a total thing for me. Um, and it shows up in business too in some really interesting ways. And I think that's one of the reasons that I'm really conscious of trying to create safety for my communities and for my clients is I want people to come into my containers feeling really safe. And I know not everybody really cares about that, right? Like energy workers and light workers are like, we're not really thinking about that, but my fellow needs,

Speaker 2: (56:20)
I need that. Like if I don't feel safe with, I can't work with them. So I really appreciate that about you. And I remember at the time I didn't really, I don't, I don't even think I had the brain capacity to really talk, um, thoroughly or put my thoughts together just because I was so, um, I was in the thick of postpartum, but I felt so safe with you. And I appreciated that so much. And I do appreciate that about you. Like whenever I listened to your podcast or watch your stories, I feel like I'm right there with you.

Speaker 1: (56:52)
Thank you. Thank you for saying that. And as grid worker to grid worker, I think that'll be a really, um, a superpower for your business too, because you'll create that safe space for people who are having babies that need to feel safe when they're in labor, you know, like it's a super power

Speaker 2: (57:11)
For sure. I've had a lot of people actually come to me recently to unpack their birth stories. Um, just to get a better, a better understanding of what happened. And I just, I find it interesting that like, there's been probably a dozen people that have, that have messaged me and, and I'm just thinking, okay, well they must feel safe and I want to help them work through that and understand and just know that they're not a failure for the way things went.

Speaker 1: (57:39)
Yeah. I mean, and they are, you're exactly right. Like they're connecting with you, they're vibing with you for things that you might be talking about, but your nature as a grid worker is that you do feel like a safe space. And, um, that is, you know, like the importance of feeling that way when you're opening up about something, like, look at what I just did. Like, I just talked about past stuff to you, like, and we're recording on a podcast. And I, I don't even know if I've talked about that on the podcast. Not that I wouldn't, I just don't know that I have. Um, but either way, I'm like really, really glad that we got to catch up and I know you have a lot going on today, so thank you for taking the time to spend with me here.

Speaker 2: (58:15)
Thank you so much for having me. It means so much, and I'm so happy to reconnect with you.

Speaker 1: (58:20)
Same. Well, I let you get back to, you know, your life of doing all the things and I'm going to share Alex's handles in the, um, in the show notes so that if people want to connect and get to know more about foraging and all of the incredible things that you're doing, that they can do that with you on Instagram and yeah. Have a really nice weekend. Thank you.