Episode 74 Transcript: Are your insecurities keeping you - & your business - small?

Last week on the podcast, I mentioned that I don’t think flaws are real. 

The theme of insecurities has been showing up a lot for me this week, so I thought I’d share some thoughts. You probably know that I’ve been sharing my breast implant removal journey publicly, which is heavily centered around my own body insecurities.

And yesterday I read on social media that insecurities are actually conditioned beliefs, which articulated exactly what I’ve been feeling come up.

At some point in history, someone (or a group of someone’s) decided what they believed to be acceptable, what they believed to be ‘beautiful,’ and created an impossible version for us to aspire to. And btw, that version evolves over time, depending on the need. 

Then we grew up surrounded, and conditioned by, those beliefs. Beliefs that were not our own. And if there was no one jumping in to say that it’s all lies, we believed them and accepted them as truth. Hence, flaws and insecurities were created.

Obviously, this doesn’t apply to everyone. What I’ve noticed is that many of the people who don’t subscribe to this BS were raised by parents that stood in their power, that did the healing work and stopped the madness. Then, they transferred that power to their children.

Many of us are being called to do this right now, and it’s not an easy thing.

This thought process applies to birth fears as well. We know this, but I want to share a recent example.
Yesterday, an old friend emailed me after she saw my post about explanting. She reminded me of a conversation we had when I was pregnant for the first time, and she’d just given birth to her first (9 pounder). She wrote:

“You have come such a long way since that conversation we had at your house when I was telling you my birth story. I read your expressions then and they told me that you thought I was nuts! I was relaxed about the whole process and you didn’t seem to believe why I was that way. For example- I told you don’t worry about the weight- it comes off. Hell, I gained 55 pounds each pregnancy! I guess, like you are now, I don’t buy into all the hype....Keep doing what you are doing- inspire people to love themselves. Pregnancy and motherhood need confidence- now more than ever. There are too many people who don’t feel good enough. Thank God I had my mother to teach me that- she is my rock and inspiration. Not everyone has that in their life, unfortunately. You just might be that special person for someone- stuff they need to hear.”

She was right. My fear of birth was partly learned in my life experience. There was some ancestral stuff there, too, but that’s for another conversation. And, insecurity in my body was a conditioned belief. They’re cut from the same cloth.

Now, why is the relationship between YOUR insecurities and your community’s birth fears so important?

The cycle is serving NO ONE. If your insecurities are holding you back from: connecting, showing up, letting people in, taking a photo, sharing a photo, getting on zoom… you are perpetuating the cycle that is keeping all of us small.

It’s preventing you from helping your community work through their own conditioning - birth fears.

When you hold back your magic because of your ‘flaws,’ you’re effectively trading your conditioned belief for theirs… often in our industry that’s birth fear.