Episode 104 transcript:

Welcome back this week, we are joined by one of my favorite people in the whole world, miss Alison Stewart. And she is a former member, one of the founding members, actually of the membership and a doula and a former client, all the things. And we haven't, she's been on the podcast too. You were on the podcast last year. Yeah. And so she's back because I asked if she wanted to come and share her business birth story and she was all for it. Oh, she's also a podcast. Or so before I keep going, I'll, I'll hand it over and ask you like introduce and tell us all the things. And I know you are multi magical. Oh,

I liked that term. Thank you. I might have to borrow back. Cause I always say I wear a lot of hats, you know? Um, so I'm Alison I'm back again with my and Nicole, so good to see you, girl. It's been a while. Um, but I, yeah, I wear a lot of hats. I'm multitalented um, I am a podcaster. Um, I'm an audio engineer. I'm a producer who became a preschool teacher and loved taking care of family and did some plays with kids and has taught for almost 20 years. And then I decided I wanted to become a doula. I wanted to help my families in a different way. And, um, that was around 2019 and in 2020, um, you know, COVID hit and changed everything and allowed me to come home and I've been able to be home and be a full time doula since March of 2020, which has been my dream.

I am sitting in my blessings. Um, so even when it is bad days or tired days, or I don't want to do this days, um, I'm standing in the things I prayed for. Um, so I feel very blessed to be here, to be on this podcast, to get to see you it's. Yeah. I, I learned so much from you in that mentorship. I don't know if you know, you helped to guide a lot of where I went after becoming a doula, how I saw my career change. Um, even in this year and a half, it's changed from just being a, I want to be a postpartum doula to, I want to be a mentor. I want to do mentorship. I became a life coach. Um, and so now I have a mentorship where and different coaching experiences where, um, we work on professional and personal growth and development. So, uh, yeah, that's, I would say that's the blurb of me in addition to being a wife, mother, sister, daughter shaped out in the world, you know,

She has one of the most beautiful daughters I've ever seen.

Oh, I'm biased. Thank you. I think she is. But you know, we've got to get those kiddos together. We'll have a cute picture of what happened.

And we started working together like shortly, um, after I had my first in-person workshop and I was like, so excited, January of 2020, I had my first workshop for birth professionals and the plan was I was going to do them twice a year. And I was like, well, could I get all of our kids together? Next one, we're going to have childcare and space for the kids, you know, so that it's accommodating to all the parents. And then boom, you know, obviously two months later, two months later, the world was like, no, you're not right now. That's not going to happen.

Yeah,

Exactly. And I mean, it will return things will happen again at some point I'm hopeful for next year. But anyhow, I wanted to go back to, um, you were working for a preschool, you were working at a preschool and then you'd want it to help families in a different way. So what was it, did you have a birth doula for your birth and a postpartum doula?

Um, I did not. I kept playing with the idea of doulas, I guess, uh, becoming a doula and playing with that idea because for a lot of my parents, um, I was that I always found myself to be an encourager. Um, I'm a really good cheerleader and a lot of my moms after having their second children would come in and, uh, I remember this one time in particular, a mom came in, dad was gone for the weekend and she was flustered. It was the first time she had had both babies with her and she was trying to get one out the door and what, and it was too much. It just was a whole lot to handle. And I remember looking at her in her eyes and saying, you've got this one day, there will come a day where everyone's out of the house by 8:00 AM. Everybody's dressed. Everybody's good today. Isn't that day, but we're on the way there. And I remember giving her a hug and tell her you've made it go get some coffee. I had loved those moments. Those were the moments where I found, what job was it wasn't just to, to take care of their child and educate their child, which was awesome to see the preschool with eyes and imagination, light up. It's amazing. Um, and that zero to five is still deep in my heart. It's still very much what I do. Um, in my business, we take care of the family. So I'm not only a doula who comes in as you a welcome home, your baby, but I have some educational resources for your older siblings. Um, I have some things that help new parents things to help doula. So I've tried to educate as well, um, and kind of take a little bit of my preschool, uh, and cover my zero to five-year-olds to make sure that they still get what they need, even in the midst of this different kind of learning that's going on.

Um, but yeah, I didn't have a doula. I, my cousin is a doula and she was the only doula I knew personally, and we got to talking and I just couldn't shake it after having my daughter. Um, I, I was up one night and saw a post on Instagram and it was a mother holding the side of the bed. Everyone was looking at the baby and she was in complete pain and, and healing and the world was spinning and no one was looking at her except for her friend who took the picture. And that was the moment that I said, well, who's taking care of her. I want to do that. I want to make sure that she has what she needs and ever since then, and has been hit the ground and run, I got to go do this.

Yeah. And you took your training in 2019, right?

Yep. Right after having my daughter, I was still teaching, uh, I had a wonderful boss who was trying to allow me a day off to do my doula work because she knew I was very passionate about it. Um, yeah, I got to be a co-workers doula. Uh, they were one of my first verse. It just, it has been such a great journey. It's been different with bumps and things like that. But you get through those bumps, you take a step by step, you know?

Yeah. And you've, you've been a really great example of somebody that, yeah, because you know what, we had a guest on the podcast a few weeks back about cause you know, me and how I talk about spirituality and merging our spirituality and our belief system into our businesses, which I think a lot of people are missing that piece. You know, they've turned on, they put on the business hat and it's like, they forget that they have these beliefs. And even though you and I don't necessarily have exactly the same beliefs, cause you lean into religion more than, um, I do, like we still met each other there. And we were both applying these foundations to our own belief system.

Definitely. And it, I think you can't have one without the other, especially in a heart-centered business. It's so much of you poured into that business. And if you know your skills, your, your joys, your, the things that you're fighting against, you know, uh, running against maternal death rates, we're fighting against misinformation. So we have to be passionate about that. It has to come from somewhere. I'm not gonna get it at business school. I'm not going to get it in a textbook. It's got to come from me. So I think you do have to combine the two because if you, if you're disconnected your businesses so much of who you are, how does your business show you? If you don't know who you are and where you fit into your business and your beliefs fit into your business. So I love that in the mastermind, we've talked about that because it was an aspect that I never put together before, you know, the, the feminine energy and the male energy and how much we've been operating in the same old rules when they may not fit for everyone. They don't work in every community and in every single instance in situation. So I love that you combine that. And I feel now that it's essential, I don't know how to function without it.

You can, once, you know, it's like one of those things, once you see it, you can't unsee it once, you know this, you can't, un-know it because you realize that you will never, I mean, I shouldn't say you will never, but me I'll see me. I would never be able to get past that point and get through the hardest times if I was relying on that old story of how we're supposed to do business and excluding our spiritual beliefs, excluding the intuition piece. If I was still doing business, the way the good old boys do business, like I would have quit a long time ago, honestly, because I just, I wouldn't have been able to keep going. And, um, that is, I always admired how you were able to, you know, hear me out and to hear my nonsense, not nonsense, but you know, sometimes, you know, and, but bring in your own religious beliefs and like, recognize like, okay, so this is what she's effectively saying. How can I apply my beliefs to that, that foundation? And I really appreciated that.

I always love the fact that you made me notice that I never really thought about because working in schools, there were certain things you couldn't say certain things that you could say, you know, we couldn't celebrate Christmas per se, but we can do a holiday party. And I've always been one I've been exposed to so much. I went to a predominantly Jewish school. So I learned to speak Hebrew. I, or at least I know the alphabet I'll put it that way. Um, and for me, I, you know, I I've, I've been to Indian weddings. I've been to my, we always make the joke that my 16th birthday looked like the United nations because everyone was there. And then my wedding looked like the United nations. Everyone has something to give and, and you can come from whatever standpoint you are. And I know now we're in the super PC culture and you have to get upset about everything, everything, you know, you take what you need, you build off of what you need, if it works for you, but you got to tweak it a bit. Okay? I don't get offended when we are talking in spirit rather than religion, because it's all spirit, it's all faith. It all helps you to be you. It may look a little different for someone than it does for me. And that's cool because your business is supposed to function the way your business is supposed to my business and yours. Ain't the same.

Never, I that's it. I think one of the scariest things about starting out as a new business owner, a new doula business owner is you don't really know what to do. And it feels like you're supposed to put on this template of what a doula business looks like. Okay, I'm going to copy the packages. I'm going to copy the services page. And it's not a terrible thing because you just don't know what to do. But then you find yourself in like this place where you're like, well, something doesn't, this doesn't feel right. It doesn't it's because you're putting on someone, else's talk, you know? And I put my husband's shirt on. It doesn't feel right, because it's not meant for me. You know? And, and we've talked about the garment fitting before and stuff. And like, you know, after my surgery and like, after my breast implant removal surgery, right?

Like garments that fit me in January of this year, don't fit the same anymore. It's cause we evolve also. So sometimes it's somebody else's template doesn't feel the same or it doesn't fit properly. And our own old articles might not fit the same because we have evolved. So there's layers of it. But the, the beauty of it is you get to make it however you want. And the foundations, the foundations don't change. They're adaptable, they're flexible. And you can put them anywhere and in anything and make it work. And there's no right answer. There's no perfect solution, which you were probably met with in March because you were a freshly trained doula. And then like, what did you do when everybody was like, okay, we can't go in. Like, what was your next thing?

My first birth was actually a virtual birth. Um, right before everything's shut down. I got a phone call from a woman in Texas who found me on the internet and said, I think I'm in labor. I don't know if I need a doula, but I need to talk to somebody. We ended up staying on the phone, texting all night long. Um, she was young. She told me I am nervous. I am scared, but I don't think I could pay for a doula. I said, look, look, look, I can't leave you like this. You just told me you're nervous and scared. This is my call. An action. You're not taking any food off my table for me to support you in this moment. So we texted all night. I woke up in the morning and taught three-year-olds the next day. And I got a text of, we've got a boy.

It was my first birth. My first birth was virtual. So for all of you doulas, who are wondering, how do I make this digital thing work? Ain't nothing like it here. I love the virtual aspect of my business. It has. You gave me something to think about that I never thought about before. I thought I had to be right there by the bedside, right? They own the floor over the birth ball, doing it all. We couldn't do it in the middle of, I chimed into hospital birth. My mother wasn't on all fours doing her breaths. And I was cheering her on, come to find out her nurse was a former doula. So she was, come on doula, let's get in this let's cheer on mom. I had the most successful births. Some of them were virtual. You know, um, my dads came in and they had to step up a bit, but making sure that they were prepared is something, a lot of doulas rely on the fact that, oh, I'll be there.

This was the one time we could not rely on us being there. So we really had to teach that partner to be there. That partner, here's what we're going to do. If we get to this point, this is what we're going to do. And I'll give you one of my trade secret. Y'all y'all ready. I'm a music lover. So, uh, in addition to being an audio engineer, we used the instead of podcast, I was doing tracks. I was doing street songs cause I'm a singer who got tired of waiting for, uh, whatever record me. So I like to do one song list that has some chill, get you in your moment vibes. And one that gets you moving and get that baby down. I literally had one of them. My mom was doing something or some soca. She was dancing and grooving that baby came out just the way she wanted.

She had an epidural to get her through. And then she delivered naturally as she wanted you. Despite the fact that her doctor was trying to book an OR while she was pushing, I said, well, at the end of it all, I said, well, uh, look at that. You seem to have done everything. You want it to do the way you want it to do it. So smooches to him, I hope next time he listens, you know, and we just, every experience has been a learning experience, but I've really, I did a count last night in the past year and a half, I have helped about 19 families. My goal was 10.

Um, and it's, it's just been, I've had amazing, amazing parents and just the cutest sweetest babies. I'm actually coming from an overnight last night. And oh, she was just so cuddly and cute. Um, but I've been in situations where maybe we did believe different things and maybe we did come at it from a different standpoint. I always pray over everyone before stepping into that sacred space. That's what I need to do so that I'm prepared as a doula to go in and do things. I had one mother, she wanted us to pray together. And while we did, she was having twins. Her babies were kicking, kicking, kicking while we prayed, they were ready. And an hour later they came. So, you know, there's been magical moments. Hers was the first one where I was allowed into the hospital and I was able to stay and able to see she and the babies afterwards.

And that for me was amazing. Um, because being a new doula, that was really my first experience in the hospital with the nurses. And I make it a point to thank them because when we couldn't be there physically, they were the ones taking our patients or our clients right there and team, we all, even if we don't all align on the same things, it's all right. As long as we align on everyone in this room needs to be safe and get home. Okay. Everyone has to make it through. And everyone's got to listen to each person having the baby. That's the most important thing. If we all align on that, we should be golden. That's the thing that matters. You know, you leave your doula, you leave your stuff at the door. It's not about you.

You know what I want to reflect real quick. What? I don't know if you realize this, you might, but what I want to reflect to you is you are it's, I don't know when the last time was, we've talked about this, but you are somebody who models. Something that I talk about sometimes with my clients, not usually publicly, but usually with my clients is that I am available for blank, blank, blank, blank, blank. And you model that, that you are available for these experiences, these incredibly magical, like so much of your life, the things that you've shared with me over the time we've known each other. When you were a client now in the membership and all the places you are truly creating your reality, co-creating you are, co-creating so powerfully and it's it's because of what you make yourself available for the way you approach.

When you walk into the hospital, when you walk into families homes, when you're approaching these families as a unit that you're not just there to help the person who's given birth, but you're there to help the whole family as a unit. And the way you double down on supporting the partners to make sure that everybody was ready no matter what happens on the day that people go into labor, um, like you've made yourself available for this. And so like your vision really it's your vision. That's becoming your reality because of what you are putting out. Um, and it's, it's magical. And I think that's really helpful for people to hear, because I hear a lot of these, a lot of doulas, and you probably hear it now, too, that you're helping other doulas, that people are like, well, how will I find this? Or how will this happen? Or I'm not having any luck with this. I'm not having any luck with that, but that's almost not even been a it's hardly benefit. It doesn't seem like you allow that much space in your mind.

I don't think I have it anymore. You know, when you run it with a two year old every day, it's like mommy and me day camp over here. So, uh, you know, and, and I think working with you, you opened my eyes to a lot of things of how much power I actually have in what my destiny in my life looks like. If I say, and if I say that I trust God to handle what's coming next, then I need to put up or shut up. It's either I need to act and pray. Like it's totally on him. And that's it. There's no other either I'm going to work and pray and get it done, or we're going to be floating in his boat. Just saying, I wish I, I wish it could've. I should've done. Oh man, why didn't, you know, and I'm very blessed where, um, my husband is very supportive.

He, he saw what I was building and, and saw what I was trying to put together and said, what if you stay home? What if you didn't go back to school in the middle of a pandemic with a baby? What if you stay at home and built something and he knew, oh, he knew your name. He knows how you and I roll. He was telling Nicole, I said, Hey, tell him to keep pushing. You tell, to keep making you better. We, I just felt like we worked so well together because you genuinely cared about, well, what do you want? Where do you want to go? And you make yourself available. You give so much. And I feel like in this career, in this moment, it is a real opportunity for us to live differently. There's a reason why people are changing jobs. There's a reason why the world kind of needed to flip upside down.

There was some changes that needed to be made. I personally was tired of working seven jobs, not seeing my daughter and not even spending time in the house that I was paying for what, you know, it was literally holding my stuff. As I went from one job to another, helping other people raise their children and I was leaving mine to do so. And I loved my families and love my babies, but it was hard when all I was seeing was I was leaving before she woke up, pumping in the middle of the day, come home and feeding her and putting her to bed. That was the day. And it was breaking my heart. I felt like I was losing my mind and COVID gave me a way to come home. Um, and I know everyone's boat, uh, has been rocked differently in this we're all in this, in this boat together, but everyone has had different waves.

This is not taking away from any of the hurdles that anyone has been through. Everybody's boat moves differently. Hopefully you found something that gave you a little bit of sunshine, or at least a life preserver, something that got you riding these waves, where you're still listening to us, you're still listening to Nicole's podcasts. You're still doing that bite of, I want more, I want better. I want to help my community different, you know? And like you said, we have that opportunity to open ourselves up for that. We can't think small anymore. The world is too big for us to think. Small, we got

Relying on traditional jobs for income. And like you said, what a good point, right? Because you were like, my house was basically a space to hold my thing as while I was out making money to pay for the house. And I heard something on someone else's podcast a couple of weeks ago. And it was really like, to me, it felt really profound and it was, it rang so true. Like I've been working from home for a little longer pre COVID and all that. But even still, I was like rushing around a little bit more than I do now. Um, but they were saying how, since March of 20, 20 many people, um, especially people who are more in tune with their spirituality, whatever, if it's religion or, you know, whatever your beliefs are, but who are more in tune with their higher selves and their connection to their self, that their home has become a healing Haven.

And they're creating all the opportunities for more healing, for more connection, with self, for more downtime, for more gardening, growing your own food for more cooking and preparing fresh meals for your family for bats. You know, like I remember Ethan asking me, um, well, not too long ago, but you know, there, I was going through spurts where I would use my tub and then I would just shower for like ever. And one day he's like, are you going to take a bath? I said, no, I'm going to go take a shower. He was like, why don't you just take a bath? I was like, oh yeah, you're right. Why don't I just take a bath? And you know, that concept of like your home becoming this healing Haven is so great. And I was like, oh my gosh. Yes, that's it. And then what your, what your kids are learning from growing up in that healing environment is huge because my kids do things like when I tell him I need to take a deep breath when she's having a hard moment and she pauses and she goes, I'm like, oh my gosh, I haven't learned how to do that until yesterday.

I'm today years old, basically.

And help me teach that. Cause we're trying,

It takes a lot. I mean, liv tells her to, you know, live, we'll say like, Imani, you sound upset, take a deep breath. I think you need to take a deep breath. Or I will, when she's really worked up. Cause you know, our young, my youngest and your daughter they're close in age. So when my three-year-old is really worked up, sometimes I'll just pick her up, take her upstairs and put her in the tub because sitting in water is so healing. And it's like, the second she sits in that water, she just like instantly nervous system is chill. She calms down. I can see her body slow down as she takes a deep breath. Um, it's like, it's amazing. You know? And maybe

A whole nother add to you, you know,

Like what are you learning from this? And then they get more of us and your business doesn't have to stop. You don't have to stop doing it and stop doing what you love, just because whatever is going on out there. We are blessed with technology right now. We're on zoom. I have a microphone, I have a cell phone. We met online. Here we are. I feel like we've never had a person, but we know each other. So let's look at these tools. We have to allow us to do our work,

You know? And it's funny that you would say that my mom and I have been having these conversations all through COVID and it was so funny because I kept bringing your name up. And my mom was like, wait a minute, have you met? Have you guys been in the same space? And I was like, oh no, we've just been on zoom. We've been on texting voxer. I was like, oh, that's my girl right there. We've been through some things together. And she was like, this is a whole new concept to me that most of the women that I have met that are pushed me and encouraged me. I've never personally met over the past year and a half. Some of the best friends that I've gained have been people that I've never hugged. And can't wait to, okay, let me get on a flight here. I'm on the way to am. Um, we're going to go to the beach and just hang out

And you're speaking my language. Yes, please. I mean,

I hope that during this time, and I know for me, it has been a pivotal moment. Like, I don't know. I don't know how I would have done my doula job, my doula career, still teaching. I don't know how I would've been able to leave because that's part of the problem. You can't leave a, uh, this pays my house. This pays my car. This takes care of my family, jog for an on call. When the time comes, I gotta go job. If it's not keeping, if it's not doing the same things, if it's not keeping your house together and roof on and your kids bed, it's hard to leave one for another. Um, I was blessed that we made it work at this time and we're able to keep it going. I still didn't know how I felt with this Marian and her going to school.

And so it gave us some options. Um, and I think that's the biggest thing. Like you said, we have so many options and we can be an in-person tool or a virtual doula. Then there's overnight postpartum. I've been able to help clients in person postpartum and uh, you know, being there on like, I never have to leave my daughter now. I don't sleep, but I left. I'm an audio engineer, audio engineers, don't sleep video, people do. Um, so, you know, um, I'm getting better at getting sleep and asking for help when needed. But this has been such a such an amazing year and a half. I've got to see my daughter grow. I literally have, I am standing and everything I prayed for. I wanted to be a full-time mom at home. And for me, that always meant working. It always meant cause I like to make money.

You know, I like to, to take care of my family. I like to include myself in that payment plan that my families or my husband can breed a breadwinner, but I can throw a couple his way and make it a little easier. You know, we're a team and all of this. So there were mornings where if he was home, he said, go up there and get done what you need to get done. I've got her, you know, I've I was blessed to have a partner who --- for me, who wants to see me succeed. He acts like he loves me girl. Like he wants me to do well. You know, how dare he? Um, I do. Thank you. I look, I feel the same girl. You know, you gotta have somebody that they might not always get what you're trying to do. It might always not always look like a linear progression because that's not the way life looks.

You know, if you're a doctor who fan, like I am, it's wibbly, wobbly, timey, why me, everything is mixed and mashed together. And somewhere it makes a pretty bow and hopefully it all works, you know? Um, but it's just been a, I feel blessed over these past year and a half, I've met great people. I'm taking care of a lot of great families. And I honestly believe that if you strengthen individuals, you empower families and what is better than having a mother and a father or two mothers or two fathers or a single mother or a single father, however your home looks, what does that feel to be empowered and know I can do this. If there's nothing else that day might've gone crazy, but you can do this. You can help that child grow. You can get through today. If that's all that you need to do today is that day we're here to support.

And I think so many of us bring a lot of what we are into the space. And I know, I think the last time I was on the podcast, we talked about just leaving your stuff at the door. Um, you know, we all going through personal stuff as we welcome these babies into the world, that is not for that space, how I feel about how you're birthing and what I would do instead, that is not my choice. This is your birth story and your birth story alone. The only people that matter is that family that is being born. I give them the information. They need to make the best choices they can for them. That's my position.

And you know what, like you were saying, some of the people who have supported you the most like you and your mom's conversations, how she was like, you haven't met all these people in person. And I have said the same things to people, even my husband, the first time I went to a retreat with all of my people who have helped me for all this time, he was like, wait, you're going to go somewhere. And you don't know any of these people. I was like, no, I do know. I know. And he's like, well, you've never met him. And I'm like, no, not really. Like not in person, not in the flesh. And he's like, I'm a little concerned for your safety. And I was like, I get it. I get what you're saying. But because you have experienced feeling held like that virtually you get to provide that. Whether it's to your pregnant community, but now, right. You're mentoring. So are you mentoring other doulas only in Virginia, like in person or do you do virtual, like, and your life coaching, right? Because now you've experienced that you can't stop it's in you now. So now you have to spread the, that feeling. You have to do your part and carry it forward.

Oh yeah. Like it, it redefined how I thought of this. I thought I was only going to be a postpartum doula. Well, then I got to see the labor side and be on video while a birth was happy. And that was life changing to be on the other side, you know, not the pusher to be on the other side and help someone else do it. Um, and you just meet so many special couples and special and you just want to be there for them. You know, I had the first time I got to go in the hospital, I had a family who I was like fighting to get in there. Cause I was like, I gotta be there to support them. I need to be in person. I made it there. She ended up having a C-section. So I couldn't go to the other side with her.

So I stayed for 45 minutes and the nurse said, I'm so sorry, but you got to go. I know you just got his said, no, no, no, I'm going to write them a note. So they at least know where I am, but you know, and I told them, I'm still holding this place, this space for you, just because I am not present. I am adherence to these new policies and these new rule changes, but I am still very much here. And they knew all the way until she came at 4:00 AM. That it was, I was still right there with them. So there's a way that we can still connect and support and take care of one another. In this moment, it just thinks that we can't hug. And we can't, you know, hop on that plane. Like we used to and just dip on out to the beach and you know, girl I'm ready.

I was hoping, I was hoping we would have in-person stuff like last summer. And I'm like, okay, we're just gonna, but your area. So she's in the DMV area. That would be when the time comes that I can do something outside of Florida, that would be the spot because I've had, it's kind of central to where a lot of people are, you know, like including you. So like that would be the spot. So just a heads up.

You've no, just let me know what gate to pick you up. And uh, we're going to get us some crabs and call it a day.

Okay. I would love that man so badly, so badly hoping next year, but I don't want to commit because I'm like, uh, it's a wait and see kind of thing. But in the meantime, you know, you still, you're still out here. Oh, by the way, I was going to ask you, are you still doing the audio production and helping with the podcast

Very much. Um, so I have black B radio. Uh, you can hear it on apple and Google and Spotify and wherever it is, it's all there. Um, and I have four podcasts. Now, one I simply produce, which is gold girls and God. And it is one of my favorite that I've, I've done plenty of shows. And this one, when I tell you, it's like sitting through a retreat with you where half the time my hands were in the air, I wanted to get my tambourine and my Oregon plan. So I could do my happy dance and just get McCord. He's going. Uh, so I've got gold girls and God, I've got QB mamas, which is for my moms, for my doulas, those that support families, the things like that, um, touch of honey is a little bit of motivation, a little bit of sweet in the middle week. And, um, I've got one in your mind, happy hour for all of my, uh, I guess w w we can do math tails. If you're pregnant, you know, it's three friends sitting down having a glass of wine, and we really don't know much about wine. So it's probably ridiculous. And we just talk about life.

I don't know much about it either.

I'm like, oh, this is good. Okay. Fruity. Hmm. Yeah. So, um, I'm gonna go to wine class and learn a little bit, but, um, you just, you really helped me to realize showing up as your authentic self. Like, this is me, this is all there is, this is all it is. I am me wholeheartedly. And I only have to give what I have to get. You know, I have the gifts that I have. You've got the gifts that you have, and there is no competition. We all are the magic that we that's. What brings your people to you, your magic and you, you're your magical lady. I just want you now. Thank you.

Well, I mean, if I attracted you, of course, right. I always joke with my clients. I'm like, I manifested you guys like I did, because not that I was like thinking. Um, and, um, for anybody listening, not watching, like she can see me, but no one else can, I'm like putting my hands on my temples as though I'm like telepathically communicating. I don't do that. But I do call in, this is the kind of thing that I don't even know if I wanted to share this on the podcast, but let's do it. So like a version of this, where I think about who I want to attract into my life, it's, it's, uh, a variation of what we talked about earlier of like what you're available for. And I claim to be, I claim in my life that I am available for people who want to show up who want to help people who are willing to take risk.

Even when you don't know what's on the other side, you're willing to take a step in faith and lean on faith, whatever your belief is, is fine, but lean into faith and believe that you will be supported through this no matter what. And I will guide through it, but I'm available for people who run their businesses with high integrity. Even if they haven't started it yet, they run their lives with integrity. They show up for their people, you know, they hold true to their word and they're ready to take scary action. They're ready to bust through. You know, that, that, um, that old poem, there's like a part of an old poem. Like when the pain of being tightened, bud became more than, you know, something like that. I forget the exact language, but people who are ready to burst out of that, bud, who are like, this is too painful to stay small. It's too painful to stay in a cubicle. It's too painful to, um, miss my kid's life and leave before they're up in the morning and put them to bed at night, it's too painful to drop them off at daycare. I can't do this anymore. I'm willing to take the pain with the risk of betting on me.

You can't lose. If you bet on you, if you have anything else, you better believe in who you are, what you can do. And that magic that she possessed. And if you need help seeing what that is, then you need to get around somebody that tells you who and what you are, right. Period,

And holds up the mirror for you. And it's been an honor, like, you know, people, the people that have trusted me, you've trusted me to walk this path together. Even if it was laid off for a blurb of your time, and we're not done by the way, like our, our experience together is not over. Um, but like people that have trusted in you and you and me, like this is a beautiful thing, because we have been, we have shown up and men, ourselves attracted the right people and we continue to serve them even when, and I'll tell you, like, it doesn't mean we're perfect. It doesn't mean that we don't have hard days. I've had a lot of harvest. I even share it on social media last week. I was like, listen, if I ever led y'all to believe that this, that this is easy because people will sometimes say, oh, you make it look so easy.

And I'm like, oh no. Oh no, it's just exactly what Alison said. I leave my heart at the door. When I show up for my people, I leave that at the door because I will deal with that. I will process that. And it is hard. It's never easy to parent three children during a penny. And like all of the madness that we're dealing, my, opinion. And so I kind of laugh. I thought it was hilarious and I leave it at the door and I do what I have to do. And I make, you know, create the space for myself, but it's an honor to be trusted and, you know, to be able to walk along, people's paths them and be able to hold the mirror and be in their corner and be their cheerleader. You know, you are a really good cheerleader.

Oh, it's a beautiful thing. And it's this, um, the relationship like I was talking to someone else about that relationship just this week, you know, I have the infinity in my, uh, logo. And so like the infinity symbol it's to me, it's not just the reasons I put it in the logo, but it's starting to have more of a meaning. It's more of this relationship that I give my clients, but you give back. And what you give back to me fills me up too. And it makes me feel like I can keep going too. And it's this give and take relationship like there's money exchange, but there's way more than that. And that infinity is such a great representation and visual of what the relationship is like with clients, you know, as a business owner, whether you're a doula working with pregnant people, or you're a business doula, mentoring, other doulas,

Um, cause like you say, you get out of, you know, your training. Okay. Now what, and then if I did my training then came out and the panini happened, you know, that's going to be my new way. Um, you know, I'm in the middle of the panini, how do I get my clients? How do I get my certifications? Cause I can't go hospitals, what do I do? How do I get clients? And I said, wait a minute. I remember being in this space. I gotta help somebody out. I gotta hope somebody's going to find this a little bit more. And the cool thing is not only have I helped doulas kind of the growing and gained their confidence and realize, oh, this is the next step. Cause I'm a huge planner. Um, you taught me about courses and I didn't have to leave my education behind because now, oh, I get to do courses.

And so I just did one on the important planning and taking the time to plan out your success. Because if you don't have one, then you're going to be still sitting here and looking at your plans on a sheet of paper and a year, there are moments that jump and hopefully you've got a support system that is willing to catch you. If not find someone that is cause you're willing to stand outside and I'm gonna show my age for Backstreet boys concert, but they not someone in you get you, somebody that souls into you, you might have to invest in yourself to invest in your future. If you want this to look differently, you got to do different things, you know, and it all starts with your mindset. And so that is my next course. I bought last night in my overnight. I got it all together.

I am so excited. My mentorship, um, we're having a, uh, retreat soon and I am like, October is retreat month. Oh, I'm excited. I can't even like, and I've got a birthday, sorry for holistic practitioners. Um, a friend of mine said, wait, I keep hearing you about doula stuff. And I'm a trainer. I just realized how all of that clicks. I need to become a doula. I keep thinking about how I can help that mom and that fourth trimester can't shake it. So we've just been growing and building and clean connections together. Like you said, that infinity, we just keep giving back and it keeps giving to us. That's that's how this whole life thing works. You know? And you got to give a little bit to get a little bit and to grow a little bit. You've got to give yourself a little something, you know, it's it's, I don't know. It's been such a

That's pure gold. I mean, I guess I know I've kept you so much longer than I said I was going to, I can't help myself. Um, but I mean, I'm going to tell, I'm going to share in the show notes where people can connect with you on social media. But the last thing I wanted to share too, was like what you were saying, let's leave everybody with this because this is a powerful thing, right? Like the version of the way I would rephrase that as like the version of you, who's doing all of the things already that you desire to do that version is already it's already happening, right? Like that's a choice. That's a, that's an option for you to choose to go that way. You know, you're, we're always at this like fork in the road where there's all these different options and you have, there is one of those options.

That's that version of Nicole, that version of Alison that's already doing that. What are the things that, that version of you who's out there doing the thing? What did they do? What were the choices they made? What were the scary steps they took? What were the leaps they made? Because to become that version, you do have to do things differently. And I had a very real wake up moment a few years ago where I was like, wait a minute. If I want to become this thing, this person, if I'm ready to choose that road, I have to do some things differently. And I have to do some scary things and stuff that makes me sweat in my butt. Like, but sweat and do it anyway, because that's how it's going to get there. And you have to take aligned action. And so, um, that's such a powerful and that's often what I think about in terms of like years, like early January when I'm planning, going back to your plans for the year, right? Like when I'm planning my year, when I'm like, okay, like right now, we're in September. As of the recording. When I think about December 31st, Nicole who is blank, blank, blank on December 31st, what did I do in October, November, December? What were the things that I did? How did I move through life? What were the decisions I made with my time was on Netflixing and doing nothing in bed and bingeing, no shade. Okay. Like people need some times

Please do it for me. Cause I don't get to do that.

I don't either. I'm. So the last show I watched was when I was recovering from my breast implant removal. And that was like seven months ago, seven and a half months ago. I haven't watched a show ever since like not for myself. I've kids stuff like watch, I watch a lot of Gabby's dollhouse. You know, we really liked Gabby's dollhouse and the girls like rainbow Rangers, but like adult things, regular shows. I don't, you know? Yeah. I watched Bridger 10 in January and then I had my breast implants taken out and I watched some shows. I don't even remember. Cause I was so messed up off of those awful things. They give you to recover. Um, but you know, like what are the decisions? You know, what are the options? What are the choices you make? And for me, it was always like double down on you, double down on you because you cannot lose when you listen to your intuition. And when you trust the people that are guiding you, you pick who's going to be in your team and you trust them and you make decisions and take steps, take the leap

And you always hear. And then in our business is so perfect. We have like the perfect segue because we talk about birth. Birth is all about preparing birth is all about preparation, getting your body right your mind, right? Preparing the house, preparing your body to go through this somewhat painful ordeal, to bring new life into the world and create a new family and new beings and shed some old skin and do think any project, any decision, any goal is you birthing something, but you got to go through a little bit of uncomfortable and maybe you're uncomfortably comfortable. Maybe you no longer wish to be sitting in the same place a year from now. If that's you, then don't do it. Make the decision that that's not going to be your story. Anything wasn't Matthew McConaughey, I think had a quote of I'm chasing me 10 years from now. Right? So I gotta run, which means I gotta stop eating cupcakes. But if the penny

Cakes are exactly what we need,

Right? It's a major food group and this house, you know, it's got eggs and all the good stuff. But I say that to say, whatever it is that you're thinking of, why not? And recently I've kind of started to look at me and thinking small. And what that does, is that something I want to pass onto my daughter? No. When she was inside, I told her she was amazing and she could do anything. And I dare somebody to tell her. She could tell my baby, she can't do what she wants to do. No, you won't. Well, the, why am I going to let you tell me what I can and cannot do? I'm not doing that anymore. I changed the way I see me. I changed what I accepted change. I stood firm in my decisions. This is my price. This is my price, because this is my price.

I have other means of you to work with me and be with me. But this is my worth and my price. This is what I do. This is what I give. If you don't want to hang with me, that's cool. I hope you support me from a fault. Cause I support you. You know, whatever it is. You're thinking about, think bigger. Why now I want to Allie and do it on a bachelor. What would you want and want it, babe? You know, I want to might as a writer, I can't drive stick, but I'm going to figure out how to do it. I might go one inch and bust up somebody's transmission, but I'm gonna look real fly doing it in my mazerati cause I want one.

Yes and no. She says there should not be an issue for whatever it is you desire. There's no wrong for what you desire to have money or car or a garden or a farm or homeschool or working from home or a completely virtual business or any of the above. Um, fancy purses. Like whatever. There is no shame when you have more, you get to help more. And so having more is

Beautiful. And however you need to move. That's how you move. You can get your support system around you. You get your five people that are your cheerleaders that are there for you. Ride a dime, no matter what, automatic people can be bystanders and clap when you do what you do well, but you got to put forth that work. You gotta make that decision first that you want better and whatever that looks like, however you get there. And however you move, no one else is living your life. So in 20 years, no one else will say, oh, I'm really glad that you did this. Your children might not know that you did it for them, but they're grateful because they're living in that. So all of the things that you've done that step, you took Nicole to leave your job and do this full-time and do it this way.

So you could be available to them. They may never know the, those hard days and that who do I, or don't die? Will I? Or what, how do we eat today if I do this, but they know the life they've been given. They've been given time with their mother and father. They've been given a safe, warm home. They've been given an image of a woman creating her reality, which is so stupid, powerful. You created. And look what you're showing them. You can do a job that you love, do a job that brings you joy, but helps other people as well and still support your family. That to me is the most important thing that we can teach our children. You can be happy and live a life that you want and give back and still support your family. It all can co-exist. You just gotta parent enough to do it.

Agreed so well said, girl,

I don't know if I could have done it again. Um,

It was well, I'll have it all on transcription so you can always read what you said. Um,

It got me

So good. I have enjoyed, I don't ever want to stop. Just talk to them because like, obviously we know why people come to you because you are somebody that makes a cheerleader, but you make people feel good because you emit this love and this passion. And I just appreciate you so much.

I appreciate that. I look, I hope I live up to that when I just, life is too short to be unhappy. And I honestly, at the end of the day, just one God to say, you know what? They pretty good down there. I ain't too mad at you. If that is all, that is sad. I'm okay. As long as I help a couple people and give them some encouragement on a hard day, I'm good.

You doing a pleasing, you are

Arguing and making prayer.

Oh thank you. You are. And yeah. So I'm going to share your social media in the show notes so people can come hang out with you and follow along. I help you share what you do at your retreat. Like give people updates behind the scenes, um, who to reach out to for podcasts help. Because at some point I keep pushing. She can have a podcast, um, tasks training for birth professionals. Cause a lot of breath professionals want to have podcasts and need a little training with how to get moving. So I'm going to leave that seed for you. Um, yeah.

Oh girl, any time, you know, I'm just happy to sleep and happy to have this moment. And this platform got so many new things coming that I'm just, you know, you gotta be happy with what you're putting out there. And I think I've kind of redefined some things redefined how I see me and how I operate in. I'm excited about this next phase. Who am I? Not the things that, I'm something that come on.

Yes. You're coping and believing you, your coach. I am.

I am co-creating yes I am. I'm building something.